Dorm Living

Over one month ago I left Canada to bring our 3 new sons home. Has it only been one month?!?!?!? As I'm sure you can imagine, it's been a very unique & challenging time. But we have all survived! And even managed to keep a sense of humour too.  How could we not with these boys we can never keep inside???

One priority we made for the sake of the boys was to have me living in the basement with them & sleeping in their room. There are a lot of reasons why - I won't get into attachment & trauma & security topics here. In a kind of comical way, the last month has been a lot like being in college dorms again.... 

 So here are the top 10 reasons I feel like I'm back to dorm living: 

 #10 - I sleep in the same room as 3 other guys (& don't get much sleep). And there's always one annoying guy who figures they need to wake everyone else up because they are awake. Ps - I'm remembering you Langner!!! 

 #9 - Speaking of sleeping, I haven't been in my own bed for 4 weeks & lay on a really uncomfortable single mattress that is killing my back. Dorm bed all over again. 

my view every night

#8 - I'm hearing about video games & movies everyday (my new sons at one point were asking about Grand Theft Auto - somebody brought it to the orphanage on their laptop while visiting.... Someone needs to teach adults they should be more concerned with discretion than looking cool in front of kids!) 

#7- There's telling of macho stories of fending off animal attacks. My oldest son has taught us about hyenas and what to do (or not to do). 'A' has been hit so hard by a goat that it knocked him into the air. I hear about using slingshots against parrots, getting dragged around by goats, etc. So I tell them about chasing (and being chased by) bears. One-up-manship goes beyond cultural differences! 

 #6 - There's lots of bodily function sounds & LOTS of bad smells.... I can't wait to get the fecal test results back so we can medicate them properly. Huge respect points for my determined wife who had to take care of that collection 3 x 3 times while I've been at work!!!! 

 #5 - I need caffeine to make it thru any of my days. I'm up ridiculous hours and woken up at random times during the nights. I actually got better sleeps in college even though my 2nd year I was only in bed once prior to 2am..... 

 #4 - My 'floor' is the best. PERIOD. We come up with the stupidest ideas. I'm essentially living in a dorm: the basement is Main Men's 1 with 6 residents and upstairs is Main Ladies 2 with 3 residents. We see each other sometimes, but mostly by passing each other in the common areas. The guys floor is (as expected) more messy & smelly. And we never consider pranking the girls floor.... Not gonna lie, I've been messaging & emailing Candra from my temporary room. It's like we are dating & she lives 'off campus'.

This is a tame face.  'A' had one that made Candra almost throw up!  My 'floor' is really goofy.

#3 - I eat poorly at odd times. Dynamics during meal time are different than in college though. Meals have been a revolving door of enforcing rules. 'Don't throw things' or 'don't make the placemats into airplanes', 'everyone tries a little bit', & cleaning up food spills, reminding kids to use utensils & not their hands (or mouths right off the plate) etc. Ok, maybe it's not that different.... Ha! I start cutting food & policing while Candra serves. By the time she is ready to eat the new kids are done & getting into trouble, so I grab a couple quick spoonfuls before running off after them as she sits down 
 #2 - I constantly need to do laundry. Even though we do at least a load a day, it constantly piles up on us.

Speaking of piling up: this is fairly common whether I'm in bed or anywhere in the house....
And the #1 reason I wonder whether I am back living in a dorm..... (Insert drumroll here)......

#1 - I'm looking forward to life with a wife!
We find the odd quiet moment, but we were just joking today that important decisions get 60 seconds and everything else gets talked about in a lot shorter time spans. I'm enormously thankful for the intentional time we've spent working on our marriage & friendship. Without it & especially the grace of God, we wouldn't be able to joke around and still be willing to fight FOR each other (instead of just with each other). This may be the most challenging season of life we've been thru - and we've been thru a lot together. 
BUT.... Good bye dorm living!
This weekend has marked the transition out of 'dorm mode' for me. My stuff is mostly moved out of the room of our 3 new sons and most of my other regularly used items are making their way upstairs again from other areas of the basement. There has been some grieving from the boys about the change in sleeping arrangements, but I'll be hanging out just outside their room for as many nights as it takes to keep the progress up.  
On a funny/slightly annoying note. I literally timed it & it is very easy to hear 'dad?' 19 times in 15 seconds. Most times it's a lot more dad's/second. That's the speed I measure my time at home by. The slower the d's/sec the better for my sanity. I make sure to point out to my new sons (and the other 4 kids) that they sound exactly like the seagulls on 'Finding Nemo' (they've all seen it). Instead of 'mine', it's 'dad?'. Imagine that all day!!! Poor Candra has that at home all day.... 
Mom mom mom mom mom mom      mom       mom mom mom     mom mom mom mom....  
If you don't hear from us for another month, send reinforcements (preferably a full squadron).
Riley

Airport Pictures!

They are home...and all sleeping..and we are surviving:) With little time to write in the last couple of days, I am hoping the pictures will suffice!! A huge thanks to our amazing friend Avey for the amazing pics!! Here is just a few moments that she captured....

waiting for the doors to open...

first glimpse!

Introducing sisters and brothers!

reunited with his best friend from Ethiopia...what an amazing moment.

meeting Grandma & Grandpa

meeting Auntie and a brand new cousin:)

Thank you to Greg & Barb and Bekah & Arnie for bringing balloons- they were a lifesaver!

second hello to his friend...and with a shy smile this time!!!

Our welcome home party...thank you to ALL of you who braved the weather and came to support our family.
We are so thankful for such an awesome community of friends & family!!!

together

a smile captured from our A...ready to see what winter is like!

And hello to my love...the only one I would ever step into this adventure with.
Welcome home. I love you.

Blessings,

Candra

A day to remember

That will definitely be a day to remember!!!

A few highlights:
- picking up the boys & seeing the look on a couple of their faces
- teaching them to shower
- cuddling while watching a show together
- a short video call with our family in Canada where all the kids got to interact for the first time
- an unprompted 'sorry' after a very long defiant episode
- watching them discover butter & hate it - their faces were priceless (& it was just lightly on bread...)
- being saved by wrestling & tickling just when things were about to explode again
- boys being boys.... Ha!
- watching them sleep

I'd be lying if I told you this day was constantly filled with amazing moments of love & understanding.  We won't be speaking badly of our kids to anyone, but I'll just remind myself again (and maybe you) that we can't expect little ones to deal with all of the extreme range of emotions, changes, & trauma better than adults do.  So I'm thankful that God gave me enough strength & grace to end the day with empathy for them still.  And before you start feeling bad that I was handling it alone, let me stop you. This happens for the kids either way. I'm hoping it was a good sign that they didn't need to put on a 'I'm perfect' show - that they are comfortable & beginning to feel secure enough to be somewhat transparent with the highs & lows.  Candra has taught me so much & would have been amazing here, but I'm thankful she is at least fresh and ready to go when we arrive in Canada!

As exciting as all of this is, (honestly it is, more than not!), I really can't comprehend what these 3 are going thru.  The fact that they are willing & trying despite their history inspires me and causes me to respect the little men they are.  Now that they're coming home, it's my privilege to help discuss basic life skills & development.  And especially my excitement to help them find & reclaim the joys of just being a boy.

AIRPORT PARTY!!!

We have been so thankful for God's provision & faithfulness over the last year and half...particularly for the last  8 months- the time we have known who are three sons are! And much of this thankfulness comes from being part of a bigger community of family and friends. For those of you who have prayed, encouraged, and supported us - we are so thankful for you. And for that reason, we want you to be a part of our welcome home celebration!!
Yes, the boys, will likely be very overwhelmed. And yes, it will probably be very quick (20-30 minutes). But we want them to know & see how much they are already loved but SO many! So consider this your invitation!!!!

We would like to invite you to our Welcome home Airport Party on Wednesday, December 4th @1:15 at Edmonton International Airport (International arrival gate). It will be a short time to celebrate with our community of family and friends that have been praying for them…Thank you for your continued prayers and support as we begin the adventure as a family of 9!

Riley & Candra Sexton 

Around the world in 80 days????

Jules Verne had no idea how easy it could become....  How about 5?  The 2nd cheapest airfare for this trip would have taken me via China to Ethiopia,then home thru England. I'm not going to lie, it was tempting to take that flight just to say I went completely around the globe in 5 days.  But better sense has (tragically) prevailed since I didn't need to add extra strain or time to get our sons home.  Especially attempting this solo style.  I'm currently in London awaiting my next flight to Addis - not flying over the Great Wall.  But the option has planted a seed in my (very) long away retirement possibilities: around the world without taking a plane.  Mind you, with the advancements of technology, by that time it may only take 5 days by train & boat....  That or either I'll want to visit Mars by then!

My flight home with the boys is about as optimal as we could find. And thankfully the cheapest.  I know that word has come up a couple times, but when you are traveling last minute with 4 people, the costs can add up in a hurry!  On the way home we only have one layover (London again). And it's 4 hours. For boys who have never traveled, that seems like adequate opportunity to take our time to walk everywhere needed, find a meal, use the bathroom (probably a few times!) and get where we need to go. I wonder if they will notice the English accent or if it will all sound like the same gibberish to them?  That's the other great thing about our first flight home on Wednesday: it will be with flight attendants who speak the same language as our 3 newest sons.

I'm just finishing a 11.5 hr layover in London.  So I took 'the tube' down to Piccadilly Circus stop again. "Again". How awesome is my life?  Even in spite of the frustrations, challenges & disappointments of a drawn out adoption journey, I won't complain.

Anyway, I should probably find some supper besides 'Jelly Babies'. Candra, I know you are shaking your head as you read this and agreeing with getting some food!

Riley

Are you all ready for this????!!!!!!

THEY ARE COMING HOME.....

OUR FAMILY WILL ALL BE TOGETHER ON MY 35th BIRTHDAY! 

6 DAYS FROM NOW!!!!!

We are incredibly excited to welcome our sons home....

Henok Samuel Asefa 
Henok: "Dedicated"
Samuel: "God has heard"...He has and we are coming for you!!!

Abenezer Justus Asefa 
Abenezer: "The Lord is my Helper"
Justus: "justice, righteousness"...And it has come. We are so thankful.

and

Mikias Jedidiah Asefa
Mikias: "Who is like God?"
Jedidiah:"Beloved of God"..we pray you know how loved you are by HIM.

Choosing our children's names have been something very important and special to us. All of our children have Biblical names and each of the boys first names are also Biblical - an amazing thing since we didn't choose them! Their middle names are also biblical and each have significance to us as we have journeyed thus far...
And as is tradition in our family, each of our boys have 2 middle names...Asefa is to honor their heritage and fittingly means "God has increased".

amen.

He has increased our family.

He has increased our love for their birth country.

He has increased our love for HIM.

Please pray for our boys as they will hear tomorrow that we are coming for them. It will be a difficult few days with goodbyes and transitions. Please pray for Riley..for nany reasons, we have decided that he will go on his own to bring them home. Pray for health and that God would guide His steps, actions and words as he travels with them across the Atlantic. And please keep us at home in your prayers. The excitement has culminated and the kids are counting down the days, but I know that the work and transitions are just beginning. It is almost surreal that the time is here....

We thank God for our children, all 7 of them- and can't wait to see what God has in store for each of them as we seek to become a family of nine!!

DETAILS TO COME SOON ABOUT AIRPORT PARTY...let's just say though, that on Wednesday, YOU ARE ALL invited and we are going to celebrate!!!!!

Blessings,
Candra & my amazing and brave husband (i love you so much!) - Riley

identity

Transitions give a vulnerability and transparency to moments in my life...
     They seem to effortlessly expose what is important in life and what isn't. Effortless but not easy.

Transitions & change seem to be the "routine" in our life...over our 15 years of marriage God has given us many opportunities to move forward in faith. And moving forward does not usually feel like skipping in a beautiful field of flowers...usually it more like CHOOSING to slug through a muddy swamp. But on the other side when you remove those heavy rubber boots, you feel so light.

And when you are light, when the heaviness has been lifted, it reveals identity. Over the last few weeks I have been trudging, slowly getting to drier ground and finding a place to remove my boots. Transitions are hard. It takes little effort and little time for change to happen but often longer to allow it to reveal what is important. And what I am finding...and should already know but forget to quickly....is that ultimately I am a daughter of the most amazing Father in heaven.

Worrying about a changing job, a changing a role as an adoptive momma - which is bound to be more difficult than I can imagine-  a changing routine, a changing lifestyle - none of this reveals my true identity. And none of the anxiety, the stress about what is to come, the concerns about how on earth we are going to do this... in what I think has been the biggest transition so far in our family's life (and we have had some HUGE ones in the past) ... None of this is what my identity is built upon.

In these moments of vulnerability..it is there that I rest in Him. Where I find worth, value and my guidance. It is not what I do but who I am. How I choose to be. Where I find my identity reveals what is valuable in my life. And what is valuable in my life is pursuing His call for me and for our family as He leads us through all of these beautiful, life changing and inevitably "slugging through the mud" transitions.

Change often happens in a moments notice..effortlessly. The transition may come more slowly. But what is revealed on the other side is worth the work. Worth the wait. It is where I know- without a doubt -that however easy or hard the moments may be...I am right where He wants me to be...

Psalm 138:8...The Lord will work out his plans for my life- for your faithful love,
O lord endures forever. Don't abandon me, for you made me.

Blessings,
Candra

Thankful in the "in between"

I never really thought we would have this in between time...our sons were supposed to come home late September/mid October and we would have been well on our way with 7 children. But...things beyond our control have taken place and now we wait for our government to collect the information they want before they will issue Canadian visas so our boys can enter this country. So it is in between... Getting more ready, waiting and trying to live life to the fullest while not getting completely distracted by things we cannot control. So instead of crawling into a cave and staying there for the duration, we have filled up our next few weeks with fun things in hopes that we will have our boys home before Christmas... So today is a few things I am thankful for in the in between...

1. I have recently had to let go of my pediatric position (my passion as a physical therapist) as the commuting was taking its toll on me and our family...but I am so thankful for all of those extra hours (as it was all put towards our adoption costs) and the connections I got to make with my colleagues and the families I was privileged to serve.

2. I am now working only .5 so I get to spend more time at home---trying to bring a new balance to that  but it is definitely something I am looking forward to. Except the cleaning part:) I love to tidy but would rather someone else clean!!

3. Because we are still a family of 6 on this side of the ocean, I just registered for an adoption conference that I wasn't gonna be able to get to! So I am going and so looking forward to exploring this passion of mine a bit more, worshipping and hearing from some great speakers!!

4. And...because it is in Calgary I get to meet my newest niece and I am so excited!!

5. My sweet oldest girl gets to go on adventure all by herself with her daddy for 4 days- he has a work commitment and she gets to go along! And it is somewhere warm:) I am so thankful this worked out and hoping it will make memories for her that will last a lifetime!

6. We get to travel east (because Riley also has to go there with his work) to see family and friends this November, which will be so good to connect before the craziness of 7!

7. I am thankful I get to be an examiner again this month for a clinical national exam for our profession. I enjoy assisting in this way and it is always good to meet new people!

8. I am thankful that the boys are being well taken care of and although we cannot be there in person, they are a part of our thoughts, prayers and family dynamic every single day:)

9. I am thankful for my husband and 4 kids here at home who continue to amaze me with their insight and strength each day. My husband stayed an extra week in Ethiopia fighting for our boys to come home and did everything he could. I am thankful for his leadership and commitment to our family. And my kids here continue to anticipate life with their brothers and pray for them every night...

10. I have been reflecting on how God has provided throughout this process and He continues to see us through it. We have an awesome community of people praying for us and for our boys. And the cost of this process has been more with each added step and now a third trip (and of course the flights costs are at the highest) but we know that God continues to go before us and through opportunities  & many people, He continues to provide. Thankful does not even begin to describe how amazing this has been.

So even amidst the unknown waiting and the feelings that go along with that - there is joy.

Blessings,
Candra

Know when to hold 'em

"You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em"....

Good thing my mom & dad listened to Kenny Rogers when I was growing up.  Otherwise this game of immigration visas would be impassable.... HA!  Just trying to stay positive....

If our current adoption journey conjures up any lines from old songs, it's probably from 'The Gambler'. In the last few days, we've had to know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em.  So I've been holding our boys & using a translator.... telling them that we've had to 'fold' all of our current attempts to get them home and pursue the longer road of DNA testing as required by our government officials.  I won't say much, but there is certainly a game that is played....  And no one tells you the rules until afterwards (or as they are made up or never ends up telling you).

"the secret to survivn' is knowin' what to throw away and knowin' what to keep."

So we're keeping hope, praying and fighting, but throwing away the dream of getting our sons home in October.  Or we've been forced to throw that dream away....

"If you're gonna play the game, boy, ya gotta learn to play it right"

Lesson learnt.

Trying to navigate this road has been very challenging.  For all 9 of our family members in different ways.
For our 3 sons in Ethiopia, they actually took the news better than I expected.  They gave me a great gift.  From the mouth of our oldest son with a smile on his face (as translated by our social worker): "you came this time... its ok you go again because we know you will come back for us".  He's really shy, so that's about all he said via translation.  They know the wait will be a while - months...  This is quite an astounding statement from him based on all that he has been thru in his young life.  This is also the kind of thing that makes a father fight even harder & pray even longer!

So, playing the hand we've now been dealt means me getting home to my wife & kids in Canada and getting back to my job while we wait for these tests to be done.  I leave Addis very early Saturday morning for home & am trying not to feel defeated.  God's been changing my attitude and granting me a peace over the last couple days.

The reality is that it's time to re-group & get ready for the next round.

So that's the update.  Not fun - except that it's filled with God, amazing kids & Kenny Rogers.....

Last 4 days...final day

There are not words to adequately describe today.October 9, 2013. it was intensely emotional. heartbreakingly beautiful. it was a kairos moment. A day that I will be eternally grateful for. 
It was the morning that the meeting at the embassy took place. It was not a meeting we were involved in but we prayed all morning. And we felt the prayers of many of you lifted to the heavens on our behalf. 

It is also the day that we met our sons' birth mom. I will never forget that hour for the rest of my life. I am thankful for the boys that we have that. And for us. And for her. The boys know we met her and there was almost visible relief from our oldest. It pleased him.  She is forever their 'enat' and I am forever their mommy.  

 It is the last visit that I had with the boys on Ethiopian soil. it was good and hard. I didn't expect it this way.to not bring them home. To not be there for their going away ceremony. to not be there to give their first baths or tuck them into bed. But they have a great daddy to do all those things and I am sure I will have my fair share when they get home! they all called me mommy for the first time! Our middle one has been saying of for some time but not the others. it was a beautiful surprise. We said goodbyes with huge hugs and Riley said he would be back tomorrow. They all lit up with big smiles.

It was my last day on Ethiopia soil for the foreseeable future...I didn't think this would affect me as much as it did. 

This trip has been more comfortable and my eyes are definitely more willing to see the landscape, the people, the culture.The first trip I was focused on surviving, trying to get over culture shock, seeing the boys, not getting sick ( I did get sick but not this time...). I will miss this country. being here. But I know as a family we are always going to have Ethiopia as a part of us and how we serve/ be in relationship with the people of this country is still a work in process.

we were able to go for coffee one last time. A sweet end to my time here in Addis Ababa. 

It was a difficult end to get on a plane by myself, leaving one part of my family behind but anxious to see the other part at home. Joy and sorrow. 

But I know..I know...that He will make a way for Riley and the boys to be home soon. I hope for this with all of my heart and continue to pray and commit everything to His hands. Riley and I prayed before I left and entrusted our family once again to Him. 

It was an important day. a good day. an emotional day. a cairos day- where time stood still. And we continue to be thankful for His work in each of our lives. 

Blessings,

Candra

My last 4 days...day 3

Today was a big day...at least in my mind it was. Riley was not nervous at all but I was. We were able to take the boys out for lunch today. Because of the policy of our agency, we aren't usually able to take the kids out of the orphanage but Elsa was ok with it, probably because we are in a bit of a unique situation. They were ready to go when we got there, but none of the nannies had any knowledge that we were taking them out! So after a bit of discussion, we got it all worked out. I sat with all three boys in the back of the car on the way to the restaurant. They were very quiet and the 2 younger ones were very interested in what was going on outside. 'Mekina' everywhere! They do not differentiate on what type of vehicle it is- they are all mekina:) 

We made it to the restaurant and luckily it was pretty quiet. Cokes and fantas were the drinks of choice. They had all said they wanted tibs, which is an Ethiopian beef dish. So we ordered that. But when the waiter came to take our order, he said they also wanted French fries. Great! That is what they got, and I am pretty sure they enjoyed that more than the tibs. And the ketchup. They definitely liked the ketchup. We surprised them with chocolate cake for dessert which they ate every last bite of. They seemed pleased and full, but not overly full. They left some of the food on the plate, so I hope that is good sign as they did not feel the need to eat everything in sight... We drove them back to the orphanage, and I think maybe all three were carsick. They were not still and they were looking in every direction so I think it affected them a little bit:) It was a good first outing.

The afternoon was nice and relaxed and I got to spend some time with Riley. We walked to get some pictures printed, grab some Ethiopian spices, shiro and tef flour ( I will try to make injera:)). On the way back we stopped at Kaldi's, which is the Ethoipian version of Starbucks. But the coffee...oh the coffee. So good. I am not a coffee drinker but in Ethiopia I am a coffee drinker. A macchiato or just a coffee with cane sugar. It is my happy place. It was so good just to take a few moments with my husband and soak in the experience. It has not gone like we thought it would but it is still good. We are where we are supposed to be at this moment in time. And there is no one I would rather be on this adventure with than Riley. He is absolutely hands down my best friend, he can speak wisdom and calmness to me like no other, he is a great leader and he makes me laugh. I love being his wife. So being in Kaldi's, enjoying coffee...it was an great moment of just being in Ethiopia:) 

We headed back to the guesthouse and hung out with the families in the courtyard. A family that is there from Edmonton invited us to go out for Indian food with them. We will never pass down an opportunity to eat Indian food. It is in our top three cuisines! It was a bit expensive but really, when it is just 2 of us, it does not feel expensive so we just enjoyed...came home to some emails from our princess and little man at home. It made us laugh and smile. They are all doing so well at home and we are so thankful for mom. She is an amazing woman who loves her grandchildren and oh...do they love her back!!! I am so thankful that it has been going well.... 
Sleep came easily tonight. And tomorrow begins my last day in Ethiopia - that seems so strange and I am grieving it already. Although, as Riley hugged me tonight his words were.."love, we've got a good 60 years left together...we will be back." S onto our final day together in this beautiful African country...

Blessings, 

Candra

My last 4 days...day 2

Today was another jam packed day, but a great one. We were able to go to the orphanage in the morning today, which is so much better for Mikias as he isn't napping! We brought them donuts today and so we had a small picnic with them and their friend. The older 2 said thankyou and we coaxed it out of Mikias:) Pleases and thankyous are not common here so were are gently reminding them when we are with them ! We had 2 extra donuts along that Henok asked if he could share with his friends that were at school. When we had arrived at the orphanage that morning, that had also received some bread sticks. So Henok and his friend stashed the extra breadsticks and the donuts for their friends who were at school. We have noticed that at Abenezer, there is a culture that has been created for sharing. Sharing treats, food, toys etc. and it doesnt seem to matter the age. Our youngest shared his donut with a toddler... melt my heart. This maybe common in orphanages, but I was expecting a little more of ' every man for himself'... Which was not the case. Anyways, after I cleaned up all the crumbs (ha!) we played UNO, drew and skipped. Our baby girl at home will happy to know that her brothers skip:)!! We said goodbye until tomorrow and thus began our crazy shopping trip! 

In one afternoon we were we to get done....
- jerseys for all the kids
- nickel crosses for the boys. Basket for Eve
- Tamoca coffee
- book world - more books!
- art gallery...and picked out a fabulous painting of Addis Ababa. We returned to the guesthouse mid afternoon..exhausted but pleased to get most of our shopping done with! We had about an hour of down time and then we were blessed to go with Karen and her little one to Korah. 

Korah is a community on the outskirts of Addis that is very poor. Many people in the community survive by picking things out of the city dump...which is right beside the community. We were accompanied by an amazing young man named Tilahun. When we got out of the van, we were immediately surrounded by children vying to hold our hands...something and somebody new! We first went to a women's empowerment project called Mission Ethiopia. They employ around 80 women (who make 1000birr/ month) and make clay and paper bead necklaces as well as some other things. We go there just before closing and were able to have a tour of their area. Right next to them is a church. The pastor was not there but we stepped in an were able to look at the building. It was made out of tarps on a frame. It stuck me so clearly that God does not care where we are or the buildings we meet in...He only wants our heart. It was definitely a holy place. Tilahun also showed us another place right across the street. Through a gate is an area for children to go after school to get food and help with their schoolwork. What I noticed about this small street is that people are making a difference through the power of community. It was refreshing, even amidst severe poverty.  We left Korah and went back to Tilhun's house. 

There is a really amazing story of how Tilahun and his 5 friends came to live in this home together as a family. But the short version is that they were all living on the street. A divine meeting of these 6 boys and a women from Canada began a relationship that now has all 6 boys sponsored and in school! They are amazing. We were welcomed into their home and when we got there they were all doing schoolwork. One of the boys wants to be a cardiologist, one a pastor and one a chemist. I love that they are dreaming big and that they have hope. They served us injera and a potato stew and a lentil stew. I was humbled by their hospitality and their genuineness. It was a good evening...and a good reminder that community and relationships can be found everywhere.

Blessings,

Candra

Riley's Odd Thanksgivings

Riley's Odd Thanksgivings - but ones I have literally found myself thanking God for in the moment

I’m thankful that Candra made it home safe even if her luggage did not.... 

I’m thankful that out of all the days I’ve been here in Ethiopia, there has been at least one day that on the way to the orphanage I did not witness a man taking a leak in plain view.  

I’m thankful that only 2/6 rooms in our guesthouse have someone that has experienced an attempted mugging or actual robbery during a 24 hr period in the nearby area.  Honestly, the one guy is lucky he didn’t get hurt.  He went to the ATM 3 hrs after dark - alone...  The other woman was in broad daylight at no fault of her own - our friend/taxi driver chased down the guy while trying to whip him with his coat.  Wish I could have seen that!  Thankful no one from the guesthouse was seriously hurt.

I’m thankful that my older 2 sons here in Ethiopia did not offer me a bite of the cooked sheep testicle they were eating earlier in the week.  Not sure I could have stomached it!

I’m thankful that I usually see no more than 2 white people per day outside of the guesthouse (walking or driving - I spend 40-60 minutes in a taxi each day to get to the orphanage depending on traffic).  I really enjoy being in other cultures!

I’m thankful that walking down the street, I get stared at more for carrying a thick textbook than because I’m white.  It was actually a little un-nerving that everyone kept watching the 600 page purple-covered book in my hand - I never got a second look before I had that book....  Bizarre.

I’m thankful for a coke at the end of each day when the cautious optimism I started the morning with slowly evaporates over the course of another day...

I’m thankful that I get to be in Addis for the World Cup qualifier between Ethiopia & Nigeria today.  30,000 tickets go on sale only 4 hours before the match & you can only get tickets in person....  People are literally walking over 100km just to try to get 10 burr seats (about $0.50 cdn).  It’s a big deal!  The streets are one big party (if they aren't already shut down)!

And finally, since I’m so far away from my other 4 wonderful kids & amazing wife, I’m thankful for some new Canadian friends to share Thanksgiving with this weekend - looking forward to a “home-cooked” meal with Karen, Opsa, Rob, Candy, & Ephraim!

My 4 last days...day 1

The next 4 posts are to chronicle my last 4 days in Ethiopia...I can't believe that. 4 days. I am home now with my sweet 4 children at home tucked into bed. This trip was amazing, although not quite what w had expected in terms of bringing the boys home... But I left with a love and deep sense of beauty  for this African country...my 3 boys beautiful birth country. I will be back but don't know when. Feel free to read on, but know that they are written only so that my memories of each day don't fade! Enjoy....

Sunday, October 6

Each day we are here makes it more difficult to consider leaving. I would love to (and will in the future) explore more of this beautiful country. The first trip was one of culture shock, trying to get our bearings and focus on meeting the boys. This trip - I am really trying to soak in the culture and be open to what it may look like for me and for our family in the future. 

Today we had the opportunity to go with all of the Canadian families up Entoto mountain. There was a very old church at the top and also a museum with many well preserved artifacts of church and royal history. 
On the way up the mountain, it was dreary and rainy. More than that, there was absolute poverty. Many women carry HUGE bundles of wood up this mountain as a way to make a very small living. But the weight that they are under affects bone development, posture and leaves them with lifelong pain and injury. There are many people trying to change that and offer a different option but the need remains great. 

At the top of the mountain we got out of of our taxi ( in rain:)) and went directly into the museum. A couple of my top favourites....the bible- each page made out of sheep skin and carefully written on complete with beautiful designs....and the currency in Ethiopia- now it is about 20:1 but in the 1930's it was 1:1! We then went on a tour of the church area and monastery, dating back to the 1800's. The tour was great with our guide giving us many historical facts but there was something else that absolutely broke me. At the bottom of the hill, just beside the church was a huge group of people. Many were in wheelchairs, some with crutches, some missing limbs ( leprosy etc.) And in front of them...in the rain...was a very large pile of clothes. And each one of them we waiting for these wet clothes. I took a very quick picture but the picture etched in my mind is far greater. Each of these people matter to God. And I can't imagine His sadness when he sees His people suffering. I silently said a prayer for those people as I walked on with our group. 

After a quick tour cut short due to the rain, we headed back into Addis and dropped of Riley ( feeling sort of sick) and one of the moms and her little one. The rest of us went to a restaurant called 'oh Canada' for lunch. Fun to be in a restaurant surrounded by Canadian flags!
Trying to fit as much in as possible...we went to Abenezer orphanage after I got back to visit the boys. It was good as all the children were home and so we got some more pictures and got to play with all of them. I had brought some counting cards with pictures on one side and numbers on the other. They all had some great fun with these!! and my favorite...when asked what a beaver was, one beautiful girl called them Canada cats!!!

 Henok was a bit quiet today and reserved. I think each of them are struggling to comprehend why they are still at the orphanage when we are here. It is hard to say goodbye each day, but important to be patient so that this can all follow due process. But can I just say how great each of our boys are. beautiful smiles ( some toothless), sense of humor, soccer skills, great laughs and long eyelashes ( all 5 of my boys have this- so lucky!). all in all a very busy day but a blessed day. Ended it off with a mini date night with Riley- TV shows and chocolate from home.....

one of those beautiful smiles

Blessings,

Candra

Review day

This was a day of a lot of emotions.  No answers about travel visas, but the meetings & review happened without any incident this morning - thank you for praying & supporting us.  As soon as we know something, we'll post!  We continue to pray until we hear an answer from our government one way or another.

While the boys were happy to see us initially, the mood quickly changed as they were struggling with why they are still in the orphanage.  Lately all of their friends have been picked up immediately when their parents arrive (our choice to come anyways is still definitely the better option for them, but not easy).  Our oldest son keeps asking how many days until we go home.  It's not quite so elegantly worded since his english is still shaky, but 'home, soon?' & 'days, aeroplane?' makes a lot of sense & breaks our heart a bit more each time.  As I'm sure you've already discovered, the most important things are often said most simply....   I can't wait until I can respond with a statement of 'home soon!'.  They've been in care a long time, and being embraced into a family is long overdue.

On the positive side, today all 3 boys were in better moods - the most like themselves I've seen this trip.  But to be honest, we're still trying to figure out what 'themselves' is.  Between these 2 trips, we've only been able to see them a total of 24 hours - and we communicate as much thru improvised sign language as verbally.  Which is what makes this picture today so amazing to me - our sons experience joy with their momma despite communication challenges!

Candra departed for home tonight.  Our new sons were calling her 'mom' & 'momma' today - all for the first time ever!  It was a great gift for her  - but doesn't make leaving any easier!

I continue on here in Ethiopia and wait to hear results before we can plan next steps.  But without a doubt, our sons are worth the fight & frustration & difficulties.  

And I get to go see them again tomorrow morning.  'Dad, tomorrow come?' he asked.  
ABSOLUTELY.

Riley

Yesterday!

Today has been a pretty good day...we had an AMAZING breakfast at our guesthouse and were able to sit and enjoy tea/coffee for about an hour after breakfast. We had planned on going for a walk after that but it downpoured again so we just hung out til our taxi arrived this afternoon. we arrived at the orphanage and it was pretty quiet...which was odd for a Saturday afternoon as everyone is home from school. WE walked down towards the swing sets and saw that they all had live enterainment! A sheep was being butchered, carved and was ready to cook for all of the children and staff at the orphanage and they were all very intrigued with this process I think! a good anatomy lesson I guess...:)

We then were able to hang out with the boys and their friends for the rest of the time. I brought along a DVD and CD from our VBS this summer which was a big hit! The time ended with just our boys and us playing UNO and them eating supper while it poured again outside. Mikias is looking pretty sick so hopefully he will recover quickly-  he sure didn't object to cuddling with Riley and I  which I certainly didn't mind! 

Tonight we went out for supper with a family that is also waiting on their visa to bring their 5 year old home. It was great getting to know them and hear a little bit of their story. With their children grown up and out of the house, they felt a call to adopt. And they followed that call- super cool and he is adorable.

we got to Skype with our kids at home tonite!!! 

It was soo good to hear their voices...I miss them so much! Please pray for all of them but especially little man- he is having a really hard time with us being gone. 2 trips in a matter of months is not ideal for any of them but has been the hardest on him.  

And one more piece of info which is pretty awesome- their are 2 sisters that are at the orphanage where the boys are. They are beautiful girls...so full of life! They are ,I believe, 11 and 6. They have been paper ready for some time and a family had not been found for them. And given the oldest's age...it was becoming quite unlikely that it would ever happen. But....it did. They  have a family waiting for them in Virginia!!! It so exciting meeting these lovely young girls personally, pray for them  and then hear the beautiful news!! 

God is good. ALL the time. Even when I don't understand the why's of this life. He is good and He is faithful.

Blessings,

Candra

Our first 2 days!

The last couple of days have been good, although tiring trying to recover from jet lag is always an adventure. We arrived yesterday morning at 6:30am and it was great to fly in Addis in daylight! We made it through the airport with all of our luggage and arrived at the guesthouse around 8:00. It is a wonderful place...we had originally booked it with the intention of having the boys with us so it has a lot more space than we need but it is good and there are a few other families here so that is always good! We caught a couple hours of sleep in the morning and then went to visit the boys in the afternoon....
I have never seen bigger smiles come out of children! They were waiting anxiously as Elsa had told them we were coming today! We got great hugs and smiles and spent about 2 hours hanging out with them and a couple of friends who were there as well. Between sharing and taking quite a bit for each of them, they went through a whole plastic container of gum! We played soccer, drawing & stickers and used the playground equipment.... Elsa told us they have been counting down the days until we come and they seem to understand that they still need to stay at the orphanage until our delay with CIC is resolved...it is so hard for me as I would rather bring them to the guesthouse. But not knowing when things will be resolved, it would be a huge risk...
Anyways, Abenezer talked more yesterday than he has any other time we had seen him so that was so good! We got great hugs when we left and huge smiles when we told them we would be coming everyday!!!

We were able to spend the evening with a couple of the families who are here as well and hear how life has been for them- and had some good greek food as well!

Today we spent a rainy afternoon with the boys. Mikias had to be woken up from his nap so he wasn't a happy camper for the first while. But stickers and a notebook helped:) It has now been 2 visits and we haven't yet pulled out the electronics!!:) That is the first thing they ask for every time! We brought along UNO and were pleasantly surprised that the 2 older boys knew how to play it - we played a few rounds with them and their friends, drew (especially Mikias - he loves to draw!), wrestled and showed them pictures of the rest of our family! We promised we would be back tomorrow and then came back to the guesthouse to try and recover from jet lag and just relax a bit.
Tomorrow holds more of the same with the addition of a skype date with my kids at home!!!! Looking forward to having everyone under one roof but social media is definitely a good in between! For all who continue to pray for us...thank you. Tonite I was reading a verse shared with me by one of my Auntie's

 So do not fear, for I am with you;

    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Thankful for these moments...

Blessings,

Candra