the week

this week has been, at least it seems, a very long one. it started with my parents being in helping (which was amazing) with the kids...
I am working full time til the end of march, which seemed like a good idea until appendix surgery for my husband. So even though things were likely not as crazy as they seemed in my head- most of the household chores became mine for a while! then on Thursday, a child took a gun to my kids school and it discharged in the child's backpack - no one was hurt. thankfully. But for my big girl, the trauma of it has thrown her for a loop and she has stuck pretty close to our sides this weekend. And finally this morning, I woke up with the stomach flu. I am praying it is a less than 24 hour thing and that it is the ned of our family's run in with sickness- not the beginning of round 2. The joy in it has to watch my older son take care of his brother this morning...he is so caring and patient with him. We just didn't think taking all 4 kids to church with a husband who is still recovering and has to lead service and preach was a good idea!

If there is a bright side to all of this, it is that I am learning to continually to trust deeper in God's provision of my life & the life of our family. I cannot do it on my own. But here is hoping I can hold down some water and pretzels and get outside to watch my kids toboggan. they have been looking forward to it all weekend!

Hope you are reminded of the provision that God has given you....

Blessings,
Candra

Following

“Following God’s call isn’t easy. He expects us to trust Him explicitly, and yet He doesn’t ask our advice on decisions that may impact us dramatically. He doesn’t tell us His specific plans at any given point in our lives. He doesn’t always shelter us from adversity. He tests our faith to produce endurance and spiritual maturity – tests that are sometimes painful. He makes some promises that we’ll never see fulfilled in this life.”

Can't remember where I got this quote from but it has been waiting in my draft box to post. This quote exactly quantifies what I have experienced and felt over the last almost 6 months. 6 months ago we decided to take a complete step of faith and follow God's call to move provinces. My husband has accepted a position as a Dean of students at a Bible College and we are excited about the opportunities that are ahead of us!

To get to this point hasn't been easy and many moments of each day are still not easy. in amidst this decision lies a lot of uncertainty and sadness -

Leaving the most amazing church we have had the privilege of being a part of!
Never getting to live in our dream house that we built for our ever expanding family(which you can pray will sell soon!)
Having to uproot our kids from their new school
Not being close to my parents and sister who now would live in the same area of the city as us
For me, I have the most amazing job as a pediatric physical therapist.
And a great group of friends that we have made over the last 13 years

So we have been asked over and over again if we should just stay. It seems to make more sense. And as much as we have had moments of questioning, when God calls you, you just know that you have to follow. And it isn't always supposed to make sense. The part of the quote that says that He doesn't shelter us from adversity has been especially true since we have made this decision...

My husband had emergency appendix surgery
My son was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes
Two rounds of sickness
our van died and needed to be fixed
Our other van was stolen and totaled
Our house hasn't sold
Our adoption is still on hold
We don't have a house yet in our new city.
there is not a new pastor for our church yet

So what has God been teaching me through this season? These experiences and moments have tested me and my faith. I have been angry, sad, confused, and have asked many times why. But i have grown in my understanding of my faith and my relationship with Jesus. So here is what i have learned and am continuing to learn(with some that I will probably forget!)

1. That I need to give up control - this happens over and over again in a day and I need to be reminded that God is in control and will provide and lead me
2. that amidst the adversity and craziness of the season, there is and will continue to be joy and hope! we have had so many good times as a family complete with a family holiday ( more to come on that- it was a blast!)
3. to be thankful for the blessings in my life - I have the most incredible husband, four great kids who are happy ( mostly!) , great friends and we are all healthy and provided for
4. that He provides- not always how I think it should happen ( in fact almost never!)

For the last few weeks at my job, I have begun to tell the families that I will soon be done. Although I rarely talk about it, my job has been a wonderful ministry for me. I pray for these kids and their families that I work with, bring hope and joy to many of them (hopefully) and develop relationships! How cool is that? Anyways, after I told one of the families that I would soon be gone, the next appointment they brought me a gift - with the verse Jeremiah 29:11 on it. Because I had told them my husband was a pastor. Again, how cool is that? It has been on my desk ever since and had been running through my head before then.

"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord " plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

God's call isn't easy. At least ours hasn't been. But he promises hope and a future. And I will keep holding onto that. Everyday.

Blessings,

Candra

provision

Lately, it has been difficult to write. Not that there isn't alot going on but it is almost a question of where should I start? Crazy way to start a blog post hey? Anyways, thanks for checking in....

January has brought with it some things that have affected me to the core. I have learned that (again) ultimately, I cannot control my own life and what I think I need. I have learned a far deeper trust in God than I have sensed in a long time, and am continually being reminded of HIS provision. sounds a little vague and to be honest, I am not yet ready to put it all out there. However, here is a glimpse...

We are hoping to get the house done by April 1st at the latest. We have plans ( I always have a plan!) to paint the house over feb break. Enter my husband's appendix. Yep. Emergency surgery on Thursday and no lifting anything over 10 pounds for over 4-6 weeks. it capped off an already crazy week of me being back at work full time, followed by the flu for my little princess, and some other discussions and happenings in our life. My questions was really? Why now? but I am learning to recognize that those moments are what make life truly worth living, where we see God at work....

**my sister, parents and another good friend helped me out BIG TIME with the kids for the last 5 days.

**my dad and another amazing friend have offered to get a good start on the drywall in the basement NEXT WEEK. (= tears of gratitude for me)

** a couple that have become great friends over the last few years brought supper tonite for us- an incredible gesture.

** my husband is healing well and has had a couple people stop in to visit.

** I have recognized the need to smile and be thankful for these moments because we never get them back.

joy in the craziness. at church this week, the questions was asked "when did you last feel at peace?" oddly enough ( or maybe not), it was when my husband went in for surgery. In that moment, I knew that the only way I was gonna get though this was to lean on God and trust Him to work out all the details. A glimpse of His daily provision in my life...

this week also marks 3 months since the last update from Canadian immigration regarding our adoption. basically they will issue a statement as to whether or not the process will be open again. We are hoping to hear something positive and praying for resolution. Will keep you posted!

Thanks for reading til the end. It is a bit all over the place but I am learning....and learning is almost always a little messy!

Blessings,
Candra

Our clan minus 1...

Very happy family....

and very silly kids...

We pray for you daily - our already wonderfully loved fifth child from across the ocean! 

Hope you are ready for these moments of pure happiness and silliness...

Love, Mommy & Daddy and the clan

Blessings,

Candra

In a glimpse

This past year has brought with it many great memories and adventures... Looking back it has been a year of change and transitions. And I thought I would recap for my own sake and if you would like, feel free to join me in looking back over a great year:

January
I started back to work at my job, which I love! I was blessed to have 9 months of time at home with our little man and he and our little princess transitioned beautifully to daycare! January also brought with it frigid weather which my husband weathered to get the floor system done on our new home...

February
Was a great month as my husband and I got away for our annual getaway sans kids. We are firm believers in time away as a couple ; not only does it strengthen your relationship but it also strengthens our relationship with our kids and gives us perspective on our lives. We usually read a book on marriage and set goals during this time and have tonnes of fun! And the kids get to create memories with family and friends. This year we got to head to a warmer place with sun, beaches and oceans- it was incredible and we are incredibly thankful for moments like these in our lives

March
This was a great month because two of my most favorite people in the entire world celebrated their birthdays. 30 years apart to the day my little princess and my husband were born! And we also celebrated 1 year since our referral of little man...wow.

April
The beginning of spring is always welcome and April is synonymous (almost) with Calbreak. Riley has been part of this incredible ministry for the last 10 or so years and again had the opportunity to be a part of this crazy time with tonnes of youth on buses headed to sunny California. sounds like fun?!? it really is! it is sometimes hard for us who stay put but knowing that daddy/husband gets to share Jesus with people who have possibly never heard is worth it! remembering our time in little man's birth country was also part of this month as he officially became a part of our family 1 year ago....

AND we were officially " paper pregnant" again !!!!! We completed our home study and filed all of our paperwork with our agency for our next adoption (aka 5th child!) and have been waiting ever since. On a side note our oldest 2 kids over the last couple of days/ on separate occasions have said that all they want for their birthday is their new brother/sister. Nothing else. How cool and amazing is that ? I am continually amazed at how God works ithe hearts of not only us as parents, but in our children's hearts as well. and he stirs up a passion in them to care for the orphan...love.it.

May
The house continued to move along and although we are brand new to this process, God has given us incredible patience ( which is often a feat for me!) and are thankful for all that has been accomplished- roof system is going on!
I was reminded this month how important family is and what a privilege it is to be a part of a family that trust and lives out daily their walk with God. we headed to Pomona Acres ( my grandma & late grandpa's farm) for a family reunion with my dad's side of the family. It was fantastic and my kids loved the wide open spaces and many adults who would play with them. Games of standstill, kick the can, worship service and White Valley and lots of visiting were all great parts of the weekend. And the joy on my Grandma 's face.

June
My 2 handsome boys had birthdays this month, which were so much fun to celebrate! my oldest decided on a movie party for 2 friends and our family which was just perfect for him! we celebrated with more family where he got his cake ( a black skateboard ramp complete with tech decks!). And our baby turned 2...eek! so crazy that I am a mom to 4 and the youngest is not even a baby anymore. another major milestone this month is that my beautiful girl finished grade 2 and my handsome son finished kindergarten. they had a great year and I am so proud of them!

The second half of the year will come in a second installment, as this is hetting far too long! Summer holidays, new school, a move for Journeys church, a quick trip to LA, soccer, ballet and more house build.
It is always good to reflect on a year. The first half of 2011 brought with it alot of joy and fun and change. But also hard work, perseverance, grief, sadness. It is sometimes hard but necessary to be reminded that ultimately, my life is not my own. God is in control and as hard as I try to control my own life, it never goes as smoothly as I would hope. amidst all the changes and transitions at this year has brought, God is always there. gently pushing and encouraging. Stripping away my layers of independence, control, selfishness, entitlement and pride. And wrapping me instead in His love, the fruits of the Spirit and with His Grace and forgiveness.
That was a bit of aside but important for me to remember the journey that the first half of the year brought with it!

Blessings,

Candra