Really that good?

I have truly been changed by adoption. The way I understand God. How I view all of my children. My understanding of grace. The feelings that rip through my heart when I see all the children who need sponsorship. The little ones I see at work who are in foster care. My sense of purpose and responsibility that extend beyond the safety of my family.  By I have been changed the most be this amazing little boy who is and forever will be our fourth son. Our adoption story of him is for another post, but every once in a while someone will ask if little man's adoption has really been as good as it sounds or looks?

Just a quick synopsis: Our process, from approval from the province to having him home was extremely fast, about 6 months. And although my guilty feelings and questions about why us sometimes get the best of me, I know that it was truly God's perfect timing that little man came home when he did.


The answer to the above question is yes. It has been an extremely good and smooth process to welcome him home and into our family. I want to share this because although I understand and was very prepared for the very worst (in terms of attachment & trauma), little man's story is a contrast to the worst in that not every transition is difficult. it is a glimpse of hope and praise.

For him, I think there are several reasons why becoming a part of our family has been a very healthy, relatively easy and fun experience. When we met him, he was a healthy, well adjusted, happy, crazy loved little boy. The quality and stability of his care was amazing. I remember the baby home director (who will forever hold a very special place in our hearts, along with her family) sharing with us that she often told her staff that 'if we didn't cry or feel some emotion when a child left then we hadn't done our job' - basically meaning that these kids were family. They were loved beyond measure. They were extended grace. They were prayed for. They were part of a church community. I vividly remember  the Sunday we went to church at little man's home church - we were prayed over, we were given Scriptures, and little man was in so many people's arms and kissed so many times. He was & is loved. So suffice to say, I believe that this all contributed to how well he did when he came home.
Another thought is his age. Given my reading and experience with my job, the younger the child is the easier it often is to form a healthy attachment. There are external factors that contribute to this such as pre-existing trauma and health but little man was protected from many of these things. Also, because he was younger, he had not had as many life experiences yet (good or bad) that contribute to development.

I admit that I have been somewhat shocked by how smooth it has gone. I like a challenge and was honestly expecting a challenge. He has his moments. Moments of toddlerhood that can only be explained by being almost 2! But from my experience with my older three...they are just that - moments of toddler hood. I do it by myself. I climb on everything. I drop to the ground in tears cause I don't have all my words yet and can't tell you exactly what I want (having little princess around is sometimes a lifesaver cause she often knows exactly what he wants!).

Anyways, i digress.

The final idea I have of why things have gone well is because little man is little man. His amazing personality has, i believe, allowed him to join in with ease and comfort. He loves to laugh and join in the fun. He loves kids and playing with them...no problem on that front with three others running around. He has no problems making himself known! He loves life and life abounds from him! He was formed perfectly for the life that was ahead of Him.

 To end, I hope & pray that these thoughts give hope. i don't know who reads this but I wanted to share that even amidst relative chaos, there is calm. There is peace. There is joy. And there is hope. I certainly don't want to cause offense or think that somehow it was all what we did. God was and is at work in his young life and I believe, was preparing him for the most shocking event of his life to date.  I am under no illusion that it will always be this smooth. I am sure there will be many prayers, numerous discussions and all sorts of emotions that go with them. But for now we trust in God's provision for little man. A child of God. A gift.

Thanks for reading. It really has been good...in case you were wondering!
Blessings,
Candra