Perspective

During our homestudy process for little man, we had several discussions with our social worker about the amount of positive attention little man may receive as a result of the color of his skin and his age (baby...well, not anymore....morel like toddler!). We had thought about this and were aware that this may happen. What our social worker shed some light on, that maybe we hadn't thought about as much, is how this may affect our other children.

I have observed many times that when we take the kids out in public, eyes are almost instantly on little man. If they don't say anything, there are often big smiles and lots of awws. If they do say something, it is usually along the lines of "Isn't he cute" or "I love his hair" or "Where is he from?". I am not faulting anybody for these comments because we all agree as a family, that he is cute!!!
What the discussions with our social worker and these experiences have provided us with, is some perspective and ideas on how to intentionally parent each of our children in these situations. We didn't realize just how intentional we'd have to be with our other kids when we are out in public.  Often, as I mentioned before, little man gets almost all the attention.  We will intentionally mention our other kids, involve them in the conversation (however brief it may be) and give them affection as well meaning people are gushing over him.

What I have to say next though, is that I am completely and utterly amazed at how our kids have handled  these moments.  God knew what He was doing when he gave us these three blessings before little man. There has been absolutely no hints of jealousy, anger, or sadness toward the attention that he gets. In fact, they are usually answering all the questions and are unashamedly proud to call little man their brother. Given that little princess was just 2 when he came home and given her personality (which I am going to blog on soon....because she is just hilarious), I wasn't all that confident that she would react so positively.  She totally proved me wrong! She lately has been telling me that little man is her best friend. Love.....it. My older two love him crazily...my oldest to the point that when he is disciplined she defends him quite vocally! My older son never runs out of hugs or patience with him....it is so fantastic to watch the love and security they all find in each other.

So this is our new normal, which we love by the way! A normal which does not allow us to blend in but rather allows us to enter into discussions and share our story, parent with encouragement and love and keep on living life!

Blessings,
Candra