When Riley asked me to share this weekend, I said yes, thinking that I would have lots of time to prepare and that I'm sure something would come to mind to share about. Well, last night, as I sat typing this, nothing was there. What am I learning these days? What is God teaching me? I could probably talk for a while about several topics that I would like to talk about - adoption leading the way, orphans & being a mom. God is stirring the pot and each of these areas are in there but somehow, even though I wanted to - I didn't feel like this is what I was supposed to share. So, as I prayed and thought about it a couple of verses that have been significant to me over the last few weeks came to mind. The first is one from proverbs that I have been thinking about for a while. Proverbs 31:25 says: " She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come"
As many of you know, we as a family have gone through a whole lot of transitions in the last year. We went from being a family of 5 to a family of 6. We spent a month half way across the world separated physically from our older three children, our house went on the market in the summer, Riley came back to work after his sabbatical, our house sold, we moved and and now are in a new home while we build another one! When it is put in one sentence, it seems like a lot. And those are just the big moments. The everyday ones are sometimes tougher to face...choosing to be content everyday, having enough patience for those around me, especially my kids, enjoying my days, keeping up with my housework, finding time to get out with people for coffee, making time to spend with God etc. etc. etc. I try not to use the word stressed in my vocabulary but life does become very busy for me at times. SO I think as I began to reflect on all that God has entrusted to me and what I am supposed to be about, this verse was very timely. I pray for strength (and patience) DAILY. Strength not only to make it through the day but also to have significant moments in my day. i once told Riley that I want to live life with him, not get distracted by it. For me it is too easy to get distracted by the tasks of the day and only have energy & strength for those and then not have it for the unexpected that occurs during the day.
It intrigues me that the verse starts "she is clothed with"...getting clothed, for myself, is making a choice of what I want to wear.It is far easier for me many days, to cloth myself in impatience, selfishness, pride, self pity...rather than choose to rely on God's strength to sustain me. Through this past few months, I am learning to rely on His strength, which is hard for me as I am fairly independent. I am also trying to intentionallly choose it daily in response to His call for me in these moments of my life. the second word is dignity. I looked it up in dictionary.com last night and it said:
bearing, conduct, or speech indicative of self respect or appreciation of the formality or gravity of an occasion or situation.
I want to be that type of women. I want to choose that daily not only for myself but also for my kids, my husband, my friends, my colleagues; I want people to see me as a person who respects herslef and those around me. I want my kids to have a good example to follow and I want others to see Christ's work in me. I read another quote online that dignity is a precursor to freedom. As I was thinking about this, it is totally true in my life. When I am not feeling very good about myself, I tend to tear myself apart, usually through guilt. Freedom to be who I am in Christ is hard to find in these moments, in fact I think impossible as I am so focused on myself that the freedom I have been given isn't often on the radar. I am learning to choose dignity and strength daily. the next part of the verse for me is the best part! There are alot of things on the table in my life these days. What I feel called to during the next phase of life, raising four beautiful children, soon to be working (and starting back to work in the frigid cold). So when it says laugh at the days to come I had to read it over again. I try and hide it but I am overwhelmed sometimes about the tasks entrusted to me in my life and most of the time I want to worry about the days ahead, rather than laugh.
So in the last few days it was timely that God brought another verse to mind that I felt that I should also share today. It is from Philippians 4:6-7 " Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus".
I have read these verses many many times in various circmustances and although comforting I forget about them in times when things are cruising along. I choose not to (althoughunintentionally) take everything to God in prayer. I think I can do it on my own. i begin to worry...and then I spiral. I am a worrier by nature, although getting much better - my mind goes crazy sometimes. I want to worry, not laugh. So when I spiral then I remember these verses and get back on track. I guess what I am trying to say is that the second part (vs 7) is where God has parked me this week. I need to be vigilant in my prayer, my anxiousness, and my thanksgiving so that I am open to the peace of God. Which will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. The NLT says "Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." That is what I desire - that continually, during the transitions of my life (which never seem to stay still), during the seemingly good and the definitely not so good - that my heart and mind will be guarded. That it will not automatically go to the worst case scenario. There have been many unexpected circumstances in our lives lately, some really really good & exciting and some quite the opposite. It has been exciting to live in the reality of these verses as they have come to mind again and again. To live in strength & dignity as a woman, wife, mom and friend, to laugh at the days ahead (which I have found hard but well worth the effort for myself and how my kids perceive the future as well), and to let God's strength & peace guide my life. Thanks.
Blessings,
Candra
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