This weekend has been very different for me. Because I have been by myself. My kids were at their grandparents and my husband was at a conference. My whole goal for the weekend was to get some decisions made about the house build and to go to lots of places and look at lots of different things...My mind is spinning with all things house! I also registered the kids at their new school for next year. Crazy! And we have begun looking for summer daycare on this side of the city...if you know of anyone, please pass their name along!
So I had a list of what I needed to get done and it literally took me half the time I thought it would! I have been conditioned to plan according to one or more kids in tow! So needless to say I had more time than I thought I would...I cleaned the house top to bottom, finally organized my closet (yay!) and spent some time with God.
It was so quiet in my house. Too quiet. it reminded that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my husband and my kids! I am so blessed to be a wife and a mom! It also gave me time to think and reflect without interruption. And if I am honest, I didn't completely like what that time brought with it.
When I am not in the roles I am most comfortable with. When all of that is stripped away- being a wife, a mom, no tasks to do, no job to go to...
It leaves just me.
Candra.
A woman.
It is an uncomfortable place to be sometimes...being reminded to value yourself because of who you are, not because of what you do. Recognizing where and who you find your worth in. This is what my afternoon & evening looked like today. I thought And prayed a lot about what I am willing to risk for the sake of Christ, for the sake of relationships. Sometimes I don't want to put in the time to develop friendships- it involves risk and effort. And to move further into that concept of risk...a question that kept coming to mind was "are you ready to risk"? As I prayed about it, I realized that it was about my willingness to be about what God wants me to be about. Am I ready to risk for his sake? in relationship, in my actions, in the way I live...
So yes - stripped away was what today was about. Not always fun but necessary. As I climbed the hill behind our house tonight, a verse that kept coming to mind was...
"Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Saviour and my GOd."
In the midst of all of the roles I have and things I do. Between house building, waiting for our next child, gearing up for RUN143 etc... I am first and foremost a child of God. And I need to put my hope in HIm...and risk for His sake!
I hope in this brief moment of time, you too are reminded that you are valued, loved and precious in His sight. Thanks for spending time with me tonight....
Blessings,
Candra
Wish I could have helped fill some time, but great reflections. Love you.
ReplyDelete