on living life...

"We want to live life, not be distracted by it"











It is too easy to be distracted...To just pound out the daily grind- work, chores, activities for the kids, laundry, pack lunches, tv, time with friends, go to bed at an unreasonable hour and then get up at an unreasonable hour and do it all again. 

Life is not long enough to just do this every day our life. At least not for me. As a couple & as a family we want to be available and ready for opportunities that God calls us too. We want to be willing and ready to risk to do things that much of the world may see as crazy. And we want to courage our kids and others around us to do this same. To not get caught in pursuing only things of this world- but to pursue things, relationships and opportunities that allow us to be active & invested followers of Christ. When we do this, we must trust God and put our whole hope in Him because really, there is no other way when you are willing to risk for His sake. 

Many of you now know (read earlier posts) that we are expanding our family again through adoption! If you would have asked me 11 years ago, before we had any children, if we would have 7+, I probably would have thought that it wouldn't be our family. But if you ask me now, it makes sense. Sometimes. Other times, it is just crazy but still is right. We thought we were done at 7:)  But a whisper is all it takes if you are listening... And we both were. 

This is absolutely the most surprised we have been to start an adoption. An eighth child! From a practical perspective, there is lots- most noticeably finances- that need to fall into place. But we are confident in His provision. It is hard to doubt when God has shown us time and time again that He is with us. This means we also have to do our part and already God has given us each some additional work opportunities. 

We have also been surprised at the support of our community and how excited they are for us. It has given affirmation that we are not as crazy as we sometimes think! Well, maybe we are but we love it! 

Risking and loving for His sake- even when it is crazy hard and you feel like giving up, or feel like no one completely understands, or you are utterly exhausted- is worth it. I have 7 living examples living under my roof right now. It is a long road that twists and turns but the redemptive work that God continues to do in the lives of each of our children and us is a reminder that He uses me right where I am at. And that adding another child to our family is a privilege- we get to continue living life by pursuing things after God's heart rather than being distracted by all the other stuff in our lives! 

 Blessings ,
Candra 

 PS if you are one to pray, we would ask that you join us in praying for: 

1. The heart of our newest child. That even now, God would be preparing them for a new family.
2. Our homestudy is done but now begins it's winding route to our agency. Pray that this would be done quickly. We are hoping before Christmas! 

3. Pray for provision financially. An international process is a significant cost and at times, can seem very daunting!
Thanks so much for your prayers. They are invaluable!

Micah 6:8

I wanted to share with you tonite a bit more about this new journey we are on and where we are at. As I sat down to begin writing, this verse came to mind and so it is here that I will start.

Micah 6:8 has been a defining verse for me and for our family and how attempt to live our lives as followers of Christ. I probably like the verse even more because of its directness and strong language. There is no beating around the bush as he speaks! What does the Lord require of you?

DO JUSTICE.

LOVE MERCY.

WALK HUMBLY

WITH OUR GOD.

For us, these 9 words are a not an option. It doesn't say when you feel like it...or in this circumstance... rather it is a life to pursue. Each day...at home...in workplaces...in our transitions...in our church...as a a person in this world. And all of it - with our God. What a beautiful invitation to be a part of His kingdom...His Church here. Right now. 

The part that is doesn't say is this ----it will be incredibly hard in many instances. It is hard to do justice when there are so many injustices. When our lives become too busy to even see. It is hard to love mercy when we let judgement creep in. When we are impatient or upset. Or when mercy has not been shown to us. It is hard to walk humbly. When we want to be noticed. Or when we want the next best thing. It is is hard to do it "with our God". Because sometimes...we want the recognition. Or we want to be in charge at that moment.  

But living like this is...lifechanging- moving and living as part of His kingdom. Seeing our life and the lives of others transformed by His goodness and love for us. 

His story giving purpose, meaning and breath to our story. 

I wish I could get it right all the time. But I don't. In fact, I probably fail more than I have success. But by His grace we continue moving. Where He leads. And this is where I find myself as we have entered the last few months. Him leading and me attempting to walk humbly:)

stay tuned....

Blessings,

Candra

A Thanksgiving to remember...

We truly thought our family was complete. It seems that in the last 10 months. We have felt every emotion under the sun! But the light is shining brighter and there are a glimpses each day of a normalacy that is beginning to embrace our family.  And with that normalacy comes less survival and more dreaming about what life will look like for us as we move forward in this life.

So we begin our next adoption story...!!!

First thing I want to share is that we love our newest boys dearly. Each day it seems we are learning more and more about them and it is only by God's grace that they appear to be adjusting amazingly well. Life in a large family comes with its own set of challenges and not everyday do I remember to do something with each of them one on one (and I try not to feel guilty about it:). But each night we say prayers, we hug and kiss and we say goodnight and I love you. And even though some days are incredibly tough, I pray that they know that they are loved by us and by their Saviour.  I share this because I don't think we would even be at a point to consider an eighth child if it weren't for how well they are doing.  We know the road could be long & winding with all of our children and I pray regularly that God will direct our steps as parents- to give us patience, courage, compassion, wisdom and love (and probably a million more things too!)

Back a few months ago, we brought up the idea to each other of adopting again. Half jokingly (half not) we talked about how we had already made the jump. A 15 passenger van, a house that fits all of us, being that family that is already big etc. Another child would not be a huge jump and all of our kids at home, believe it or not, had been asking if we were going to bring another child into our family. So we earnestly started praying about it. And we came to the conclusion that we would step into the waters of domestic adoption.

This was a new process for us. We began meetings with a social worker in the summer and began compiling our paperwork to begin this process. From our previous experiences, the paperwork was night and day from international adoption. In a week we were practically done it all. Still just waiting on a couple of things to come back. We were feeling confident in our decision and decided to tell our kids that we were starting the adoption process again. They were excited but fairly quiet as we gave them cautious instructions not to tell a soul. This is a very hard task for children ages 5-11 but they succeeded! So we began the waiting...

I sometimes think God prepares us for something by letting us wade in slowly...but allowing us to wrap our heads around the idea and then.....launches us even further.

In early September, I started back to work. I love what I do and am truly glad to be back. I started a new job that I had transferred to during parental leave. Back to what I love in paediatric physical therapy:) The first week was busy - learning new procedures, reading charts of my clients, getting my computer systems back up and running.

And it was in the middle of this week that both Riley and I, as we prayed for our future child, came to the same conclusion. Compliments of the Holy Spirit:) We were to pursue another international adoption...we both had to let that process and sink in! Nothing about it makes sense. Most noticeably the costs of an international adoption are substantially more. The paperwork is more. The process is more. And in all honesty, the support once they are home is much less. It still seems a bit (just a bit) crazy!

But as we have learned through our last 20 years together...when He calls you...listen. So we are. And trusting hard. Less than a year ago our boys came home. It doesn't make sense and yet it does. Completely. So at present-to clarify- we have 2 processes underway (domestic and international) and we pray every night for our precious eighth child as we begin this adventure.

The peace that passes all understanding is with us these days. And we are excited to be on this journey once again. Friends...in advance we thank you for your prayers, your friendships, your wisdom and your encouragement.

And for all of this we are incredibly thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving - a beautiful first Canadian thanksgiving for our three newest (who LOVE turkey) and and a great one at home for the rest of us!

Blessings,
Candra (& Riley)

We have been home as a family of 9 for 9 months....

Life is good....

....sometimes challenging...

...but the smiles return....

....and love abounds...

Enjoy my beautiful kids:)

 **all photos done by a. christensen

I am sitting on our front step.

Listening to the birds in the park across the street.

Watching the sun go down.

With a chai. Gotta have my chai. In my favourite mug. My Hawaii mug.

Peaceful.

Thankful.



It has been a long time since I have stopped by here to write. Three and a half months to be exact. It is not for lack of thinking about it. I have been wanting to write for a very long time. In fact, I've started several posts but never finished them....




It has been 6 and a half months since we brought our three boys home forever. Since we became a family of nine. And in that time, so many of you have asked how we are truly doing. We have been honest and shared with many of you that these last few months have been the most difficult months of our marriage and for our 4 children who were already with us. There has been stretching, reshaping, remoulding, teaching, patience, self control ( all the fruits of the Spirit for that matter!), blending, perseverance....the list goes on. Riley and I in the last 16 years of our marriage have been incredibly intentional with growing and investing in our marriage. Without that foundation and without our God, this would have been 100X harder than it already is (or maybe impossible).

But...as I prayed about what I wanted to share- it wasn't all the hard stuff. God has brought us to this point as a family of 9 and we trust Him and His purposes for our lives. Sure, it is likely the most challenging chapter of my life so far...but it has taught me so much. About trauma and sorrow. About loss& sacrifice ( for our 3 boys who have been adopted and for the life our 4 "original children" have lost) About redemption. About intentionally each and every day seeing people through His eyes. About community. About learning to love. About provision. About thankfulness. About blessing.


6 and a half months feels like forever ago. As spring and summer have come( thank goodness!!)...so too has a season of change for our family. I feel like we are coming into a little bit of green- a little bit of new life. It has come as we have tended to our family & drawn in and cared for each other. It has been watered by our community of friends and family- near and far. It has grown with more peacefulness in our home, more laughter, kids loving kids and more moments of joy. 

Growth and change is hard. Blending a family is hard. But worth it. They were ready for a family. And we know that this is supposed to be. We love being a large family (which by the way is super fun---and there is always someone else to play with)!

Thankful. 

I want to share just a few moments that we have been so thankful for over the last 6 months. I think it important to share and maybe encourage some of you. There were ( and still are:) days where I want to lock my door. not deal with the arguments, questions, the intentionality of teaching how to be a part of a family...but these moments reminded me in huge ways to be thankful.

* meals brought twice a week for 2 months after we got home.

* anonymous gifts in the mail to help us out

* my parents and sister coming to hang out and provide sanity when Riley has been gone for work.

*meeting a friend for the very first time who said she has been praying for our family daily...You have no idea how very important that moment was for me Jody.

*facebook prayer requests and conversations to my fellow adoptive moms. 

* text messages of Scripture & prayer

* Best friends coming to visit in February-- and tolerating the insanity!! we needed that time with you more an you know. 

*Baptismal weekend with family and friends

* A huge answer prayer with a new to us minivan

* Suppers out with you Joni and dreaming about how God can use us...

* Starbucks chais being left on my doorstep with an encouraging note

* Our one and only date night so far in Camrose- had one in Stoon too!

* A husband who kicks me it of the house for time to rejuvenate..who encouraged me to get healthy and run...who takes all 7 kids ( with ease I might add) to movies and all sorts of other adventures. I am soooo thankful for him.




I could keep going but I hope this paints a picture. I have shed more tears, doubted myself as a mom more than ever before and wondered if I could do this. But each time, God has provided encouragement and a reason to be thankful. 




So- it is going well. We are moving in the right direction. Our steps are small. But our determination and fierce love for our kids is strong.....




I hope to be here more often now...Thanks of reading and will see you all soon.




Blessings,

Candra

I'm still here....I promise! Life has been full to say the least...And while I have limited time tonight, I thought you may enjoy a few pics of our family ( 3 months home tomorrow!)

Blessings,

Candra

A choice…part 2

**please check out my previous post "A choice…Part 1" for a little more background

And here is where I would love for you to consider a choice…

I would like you to consider getting involved in the Staying Home Project-

Our first project looks daunting on paper ...
$28,750 to raise by February 16th, 2014!!!!
TWENTY EIGHT THOUSAND SEVEN HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS….

Honestly, the task seems overwhelming but our choice has been made. We are ready to go for it…to share how this place, Abenezer Orphanage is caring for and changing the lives of these children. In each moment that the children stay in care…they are part of this family. And the physical space that they have fits their needs well at this time and it is where they call HOME.

We recognize that this is not their first home and we grieve for the losses that each of these children have experienced. But we are thankful that each of the children at AOA have a place that is safe and that they can call home for this time in each of their lives.

older children and staff (and Riley) of AOA - December 2013

Addis Ababa is on all accounts, thriving and growing and an ever expanding middle class is on the rise. This is great for the economy and the stability of the country but it also produces increased costs…and for the AOA - increased rent. Rent has doubled in the last year as land and property values are increasing.

So the Staying Home project is committed to helping AOA raise the money needed to do just that…stay home. The stability of a place to call home is of value beyond words…

With that I ask you to consider the choice of getting involved. If we had 28 people willing to raise 1000 dollars each - this project would be complete. If we have hundreds of people willing to be involved the numbers are less…

Riley and I have been there along with countless other families…what AOA does is beyond words and we are thankful to get to be a part of what God is doing! So, please consider it…help us help these children "Stay home".

STAYING HOME project - click here to DONATE!!!!  There is sample letters to print and share with your family & friends on this page as well. Thank you in advance for your support!

We want to be a blessing... We want to see these children remain in a place of familiarity and stability. And we want to give a voice to the incredible work that Abenezer Orphanage Association is doing!!!!

Will you join us???

Blessing,

Candra

A choice…Part 1

6 months ago I walked through the gates of a place that held my 3 beautiful Ethiopian born sons. I was not even 2 steps in when our oldest son appeared out of his room with the biggest, most brightest smile I have ever seen. He knew. He knew he had a family that was coming for him. Our next son stepped out a bit more hesitant but still full of eagerness to meet us…And our youngest held tight to his nanny's hand…shy but peeking every so often to see us…All of their friends hanging back a bit but smiles abounded…for at this time, they were a family and they were happy..so, so happy for our three boys.

The gates we walked through…this place our boys called home for over 4 years…is called Abenezer Orphanage Association (AOA). It is a place that is filled with hope, love and support. Oh, I am sure there are many moments of tears, frustration and sadness but the love that these children have for each other is unbelievable. The nannies work tirelessly and they love the children at AOA. When we were there, we saw one of the nannies playing volleyball with our son. Their were endless tears by adults and children when our boys had their goodbye party….AOA is not only a safe place for children to be when life has been difficult and children are no longer able to be cared for by their first families…it is also a place of love & hope and a new kind of family….


So when we walked away from AOA for the last time with our children in our arms, we had a choice to make. The choice was this- would we walk away forever or would this place be a part of our lives forever…not just in thoughts but in action?  The choice was easy but the how seemed a little more vague…

Until I got a call from a friend whose heart was in EXACTLY the same place mine was.

For those of you who shared in our story over the summer, this is the same beautiful woman who ran in support of bringing our boys home…who also has 2 beautiful children that called AOA home for a time. It is also a beautiful story of God's unfailing love and faithfulness as He brought 2 boys together into 2 different families who live just 2 hours apart who called each other best friends and brothers while they were living at Abenezer Orphanage. These beautiful children - we are now blessed to call our sons…..

Out of our conversations and passion to do something came  the Serategna project.  Serategna means "servant" in Amharic and that is what we want to be… Our organization's primary purpose to serve those that have stepped out in faith and who work each day to care for these children. We want to be able to provide financial support  to AOA and in the future possibly some practical support.

It was an easy choice to get involved but there is much to be done. Tomorrow I will post more about how you can get involved - a choice you could make. Thank you for taking the time to hang out here on my blog. Please pray for the Serategna project as we seek to get it off the ground!

head on over to the website if you would like to read more about it -

http://serategna.webs.com

Blessings,
Candra

The first month & moving forward

It has been one month since our family has changed forever... 

It has been time of joy, sheer exhaustion, laughter, tears, thriving, coping, sadness, encouragement, adjustment and learning.

I have never in my life felt so tired ( and I am the one getting sleep:)) but each day is getting a little better. Without saying too much about the hard things that our 7 children are dealing with, I will say that they are all trying the very hardest to figure out what family means- in particular, this family. Several of the things we were expecting have not happened...our three new boys are good eaters and sleepers. For that we are grateful. It makes the days a lot more manageable! 

These days, we are figuring out routines, family rules, what the new year will look like and most important, how to attach and become a family of 9.

If I am honest, the last month has been  very difficult for me...I think I have felt most every emotion under the sun and have felt guilty for half of the them! But the kids have fared much better. Our kids at home, they have been so welcoming and helpful- like these three have always been here...I have been taking lessons from them:) they are all so precious and amidst the difficult times, I try and see through their eyes.. Eyes that have only known one language, one culture...eyes that have seen and experienced many things that I will never have to...eyes and hearts that are open to being part of a family.

Over the month, life has begun to seem mor manageable but the word that has defined it for me is "survival". I told Riley that it seems like a perpetual birthday party! But as the month has come to a close and a new year is starting, the survival mode is waning. Grief, sadness, and difficult behaviours are still very present in all 7 of our children- but there is happiness, joy, laughter and lots of tag being played in our home! Thank goodness for our spacious home in these frigid temperatures....

We have felt EVERY ONE of your prayers and encouragement. God working through all of you is what has carried us through the last month. 

As I was contemplating this next month, the words that came to mind were LEANING IN. It is a new year, the three boys start school this month, all the kids will turn one year older( which I am already grieving as my youngest will be in kindergarten in the fall...eek!), we have lots to learn with our three new sons, more to learn in helping our our son live with diabetes and some exciting new opportunities for both Riley and I. 

So often it is easier to pull back or lean away in order to cope. But God has been impressing on me that I need to lean hard into Him. That He may be the one I cling to each day. I am also remembering that leaning into my husband is so important for the health of our marriage and our family and am so thankful for the investment we have made thus far in our marriage! And I want to lean into this season of life that is before me-one that brings surprises and challenges each day. Becoming a family of 9. I want to bring my best to the table and recognize where I need to grow as a child of God, as a wife, as a mom and as a friend....

Blessings, 

Candra