It has been one month since our family has changed forever...
It has been time of joy, sheer exhaustion, laughter, tears, thriving, coping, sadness, encouragement, adjustment and learning.
I have never in my life felt so tired ( and I am the one getting sleep:)) but each day is getting a little better. Without saying too much about the hard things that our 7 children are dealing with, I will say that they are all trying the very hardest to figure out what family means- in particular, this family. Several of the things we were expecting have not happened...our three new boys are good eaters and sleepers. For that we are grateful. It makes the days a lot more manageable!
These days, we are figuring out routines, family rules, what the new year will look like and most important, how to attach and become a family of 9.
If I am honest, the last month has been very difficult for me...I think I have felt most every emotion under the sun and have felt guilty for half of the them! But the kids have fared much better. Our kids at home, they have been so welcoming and helpful- like these three have always been here...I have been taking lessons from them:) they are all so precious and amidst the difficult times, I try and see through their eyes.. Eyes that have only known one language, one culture...eyes that have seen and experienced many things that I will never have to...eyes and hearts that are open to being part of a family.
Over the month, life has begun to seem mor manageable but the word that has defined it for me is "survival". I told Riley that it seems like a perpetual birthday party! But as the month has come to a close and a new year is starting, the survival mode is waning. Grief, sadness, and difficult behaviours are still very present in all 7 of our children- but there is happiness, joy, laughter and lots of tag being played in our home! Thank goodness for our spacious home in these frigid temperatures....
We have felt EVERY ONE of your prayers and encouragement. God working through all of you is what has carried us through the last month.
As I was contemplating this next month, the words that came to mind were LEANING IN. It is a new year, the three boys start school this month, all the kids will turn one year older( which I am already grieving as my youngest will be in kindergarten in the fall...eek!), we have lots to learn with our three new sons, more to learn in helping our our son live with diabetes and some exciting new opportunities for both Riley and I.
So often it is easier to pull back or lean away in order to cope. But God has been impressing on me that I need to lean hard into Him. That He may be the one I cling to each day. I am also remembering that leaning into my husband is so important for the health of our marriage and our family and am so thankful for the investment we have made thus far in our marriage! And I want to lean into this season of life that is before me-one that brings surprises and challenges each day. Becoming a family of 9. I want to bring my best to the table and recognize where I need to grow as a child of God, as a wife, as a mom and as a friend....
Blessings,
Candra
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