Accidental Advocate: mom + work...is good.

This post is a little bit of my heart and my life in the last couple of weeks...

About a week ago, I got an offer to work at another location of pediatric work. I absolutely love my job, love the families and children that I am privileged to work with and have been honored to meet so many great colleagues! We have also been praying that God would open up opportunities to provide funds for our adoption expenses that soon will be upon us! Initially, I began to have this inner struggle about working more or staying home with my kids more. And I have to be honest, I really enjoy my days at home and I also really enjoy the opportunities I have to work and pursue my career.

To back up a little, anytime I share with people that I have four children and work as well, I get all sorts of reactions. I also know I place a lot of expectations on myself - most good but some probably too high to attain. So the struggle I began to have was a few things - what would others think of me? Would me kids be OK? Am I being selfish? Is this God answering our prayers?

And then I had a few people talk some sense into me!

-First my husband - he supports me and encourages me as a woman but also in my professional life - unconditionally. He also asked me if I thought the kids had less of a relationship with him because he has always worked more than me? Good rhetorical question! And the answer is no - we both have incredible relationships that we are always working on with our kids.

-Second- a great older (than me) woman that I have been blessed to get out for coffee with regularly was so encouraging. She just expressed that God has been opening up all sorts of doors for pediatric work for me and that it is awesome! She has been a great cheerleader.

In my heart, I know that this is the life I have been called to and chosen to live but encouragement is always good...

In saying all this, I desire to passionately pursue being a mom! I.....

1....desire to raise my kids as missional people - that they would look outward - to live for Jesus each and every moment of their lives

2....to let them know that failure is OK - it is the reason we succeed later

3....demonstrate that risk and sacrifice are good and important. That comfort and material things (although I think we strive sometimes too hard to make sure our kids have this) is far less important than we would like to think!

4....show them that memories and experiences as a family far outweigh what we "get/have"

5....strive to be an example & demonstrate that me working is my choice, my ministry - it makes me balanced and a healthier mom & wife, and, that is is OK to do things differently

6....i pray for them everyday

7....hope to show them that there is grace & forgiveness within our family

8...work hard at being patient and not getting frustrated and that I am willing to say sorry when I don't get it right
9...am first and foremost God's daughter and I desire to follow God's will in my life

Just so you know that I absolutely do not have everything figured out in my roles - there are things I have chosen to intentionally had to let go of, the main one being-

**CLEANING!!! My house may only get a good cleaning every few weeks. Yes, I am admitting that. I keep it tidy, floors swept, laundry continually happening,dishes done and bathrooms clean (at least the guest one). But the dust stays, the floors go unmopped, the beds sheets not washed every week, toys not cleaned up every night, don't bake weekly - but you know what - I am and my family is OK with that. Just being honest.

And there are other things we have had to be really intentional about including -

**FAMILY TIME!!! We hold tightly to our family time each week.

**MAKING THE MOST OF MOMENTS!!! I make sure that I involve the kids when I am home - when I cook, grocery shop, clean etc. to make sure I know what is going on in their day. Each of them almost always as some one on one time each day.

And as my husband stated to me and I have already mentioned - I work more than you and I think I have a pretty great relationship with them. Well put.

So today I am thankful for the opportunities God has laid before me. And for the people I meet in those opportunities. I am trying very hard to no longer wrestle with our decision and my desire to work. I am blessed. I love what I do. And I have people who unconditionally support our decision. And I am pretty sure if you do what you love and balance the best you can, all your relationships will flourish and grow.