3rd thing I have learned (or in this case was reminded of)....
Working on your marriage each day, week, month & year is an incredibly necessary to sustain a healthy one during the difficult times that will inevitably come.
Riley and I committed to ensuring that we made time for each other the moment we were married. As each season evolved (university, work, children, church planting, building a home, moving) we made sure that this time was first and foremost a priority. We enjoy having regular a rhythm in our marriage and have worked hard to sustain it. Practically it looks a little like this:
*Date night at least once a month - lately they have been in home dates as we desperately need to find a babysitter in our new community! But in home dates are a lot of fun too!
* A weekend or 2 a year to getaway somewhere close to rejuvenate and have fun
* A longer time (7-10 days usually) away SANS children to really focus on our marriage. During this time, we almost always read a book about marriage together, talk about our last year, look at goals and priorities for the upcoming year and just really soak up each moment and enjoy each others company.
To be honest, we have gotten some questioning about our priorities - both about leaving our kids and spending the money to vacation. But we have made this an important part of our marriage we make sure that this is in our yearly budget. As for our children, I think it is awesome as they are now understanding that this is our date week and they pray for us before we go. They also intuitively know it benefits them as we come back with different perspective and a deeper love for each other and them! They also get the benefit of some exclusive time from relatives - aunties, uncles & their amazing grandparents(who usually do the majority of it!)- and they get to make some wonderful memories because of it!
With 4 children and one or more on the way, there are plenty of relationships within our family that need to be worked on and developed. But apart from God, none more important than the one with my husband. How our time away looks - it ebbs and flows and will continue to evolve but I wouldn't want it any other way. We have learned about each other deeply during these times, heard from God about the direction he would have us take, have had TONNES of fun and I had the privilege of hanging out with my best friend.
I know it looks different for everybody and how you work on your marriage, but consider carving out intentional time for each other (however that works for you) just to be together and not to forget how amazing marriage is!
This was our last vacation we just got back from in our very favorite marriage getaway spot on earth!
 |
| Matsumotos - best shaved ice ever! |
 |
| North Shore surf watching |
 |
| My best friend of 20 years, my husband of almost 15 years ..humbled & thankful for the journey we are privileged to be on together! |
AND, i am being serious here - if I know you well and you have kids that I know well - I am offering to take them for a few days so you and your spouse can get away! Email me, text me - whatever. It is important and if you don't have support nearby to help, I will help - honestly. Love to all our married friends!
Blessings,
Candra
That is really awesome! Mark and I haven't done a good job of date nights at all, but I was just talking to him about it the other day and suggested we try to do it every month. I think it's great that you 2 do weekend get aways as well as a trip together every year.
ReplyDeleteSo excited to "meet" you:). Love love this post:). We also made some pretty firm date night rules but to be honest they have slipped since bringing our twins home and we have suffered for it. This was a great post to read! Darci
ReplyDeletePS I look so forward to connecting our families irl. I will email:)
Thanks for this post! It's so great to hear how you make your relationship with your husband a top priority. A friend recently shared the idea of pre-planning 12 months of dates (1 per month) and then scheduling them into the calendar together. It takes quite a bit of time initially, but ensures that we'll take times for each other throughout the year. (And thinking of creative and romantic ideas is pretty enjoyable!)
ReplyDelete