lesson number 4

4th thing I have learned....

Community exists everywhere- you just have to be willing to jump in and be a part of it.

Moving cities, let alone to a different province was not in my 5 year plan! We had spent the last 13 years in Saskatoon and in that time we had cultivated relationships and been intentional aboutgrowing and developing community. this was the longest I had ever lived anywhere and it truly felt like home. When I finally came around to recognizing and accepting the call that had been placed in our lives to move, I knew that part of this was going to be creating a new community for our family.
I am so thankful for our friends in Saskatoon and continue to look forward to our times together- whether in person, Skype or by email! The type and amount of conversations have been altered but knowing that we are still there for each other provokes gratefulness and thankfulness - we put the effort in when we could and it has paid off big time!
So when we were preparing to move, I prayed feverently that we would find people we could connect with, that we could develop friendships with, that we could live life with. And even though it shouldn't be a big surprise, God showed BIG TIME. The beginning of these relationships have been firmly planted-

** Riley's job has blessed us with a community already available. The people that he works with are amazing, supportive and welcomed our family with open arms. Not to mention all of the students who love our kids and are willing and want to hang out with them! Our oldest is over there helping in the kitchen as I write :)

** We knew what church we would be attending before we arrived and I was anxious ( still am some days) because we have always been in pastoral ministry and to be together as part of a church body without Riley at the front and me keeping 4 kids under control was foreign! But we have met some great people and families. Just 2 weeks before we moved here another family moved here, who has 5 kids, the oldest being good friends with our oldest son and their twins being the same age as little man ( and also adopted)! God's timing is amazing- they have become good friends and part of our life group as well!

**as many of you know, my heart for orphan care and adoption runs deep. I felt that just before we left SK, I was beginning to have stirrings of doing more, speaking more, serving more. I put those thoughts on the back burner as we settled our family and started all of our adoption paperwork in AB. Soon after we got here, we started talking to people who wanted to adopt. We met adoptive families everywhere it seemed, even on the playground one evening. I met another woman who is planning to adopt a child from the country she was born in. We skyped with good friends and heard about their desire to adopt. I have made initial connections with families around AB and my heart is stirred up again!! God showed me loud and clear that their are people everywhere with similar passion and values and that He can use me regardless of my geographical location.

** God has placed a woman in my life who has been before me and has been such an encouragement . This alone, at this time in my life is such a good thing.

I could go on, but suffice to say that I have learned that if I am open and trusting, God continues to provide- and provision of friendships, a church community and all the other people who we talk with regularly is a good...good...thing.

Blessings,

Candra

LEARNING...Part 3

3rd thing I have learned (or in this case was reminded of)....

Working on your marriage each day, week, month & year is an incredibly necessary to sustain a healthy one during the difficult times that will inevitably come. 

Riley and I committed to ensuring that we made time for each other the moment we were married. As each season evolved (university, work, children, church planting, building a home, moving) we made sure that this time was first and foremost a priority. We enjoy having regular a rhythm in our marriage and have worked hard to sustain it. Practically it looks a little like this:

*Date night at least once a month - lately they have been in home dates as we desperately need to find a babysitter in our new community! But in home dates are a lot of fun too!
* A weekend or 2 a year to getaway somewhere close to rejuvenate and have fun
* A longer time (7-10 days usually) away SANS children to really focus on our marriage. During this time, we almost always read a book about marriage together, talk about our last year, look at goals and priorities for the upcoming year and just really soak up each moment and enjoy each others company.

To be honest, we have gotten some questioning about our priorities - both about leaving our kids and spending the money to vacation. But we have made this an important part of our marriage we make sure that this is in our yearly budget. As for our children, I think it is awesome as they are now understanding that this is our date week and they pray for us before we go. They also intuitively know it benefits them as we come back with different perspective and a deeper love for each other and them!  They also get the benefit of some exclusive time from relatives - aunties, uncles & their amazing grandparents(who usually do the majority of it!)- and they get to make some wonderful memories because of it!

With 4 children and one or more on the way, there are plenty of relationships within our family that need to be worked on and developed. But apart from God, none more important than the one with my husband. How our time away looks - it ebbs and flows and will continue to evolve but I wouldn't want it any other way. We have learned about each other deeply during these times, heard from God about the direction he would have us take, have had TONNES of fun and I had the privilege of hanging out with my best friend.

I know it looks different for everybody and how you work on your marriage, but consider carving out intentional time for each other (however that works for you) just to be together and not to forget how amazing marriage is!

This was our last vacation we just got back from in our very favorite marriage getaway spot on earth!

Matsumotos - best shaved ice ever!

North Shore surf watching

My best friend of 20 years, my husband of almost 15 years
..humbled & thankful for the journey we are privileged to be on together! 

AND, i am being serious here - if I know you well and you have kids that I know well - I am offering to take them for a few days so you and your spouse can get away! Email me, text me - whatever. It is important and if you don't have support nearby to help, I will help - honestly.  Love to all our married friends! 

Blessings,

Candra

Learning...Part 2

SECOND THING I HAVE LEARNED....
Responding to God's call, however hard it is, is necessary to learn and grow and move forward in the adventure of the life God has set before us

I had a great conversation with a lady at church today about our adoption. She was unaware of our circumstance and had a lot of questions about our adoption, Ethiopia and adopting older children. She was genuinely interested and educated ( being an adoptive mother herself) and one question, I thought was particularly poignant. She asked" so are you adopting older children because it is faster or because you really want an older child?"
Between the lines, the question to me read " is it easier or is there something more?" We believe 100 percent that this adventure is a response to God's call in our lives. The desire to have more children is there ( but wasn't always), our kids are excited about it but there is an undercurrent that is more than just expanding our family. John Piper puts it this way " Adoption is God putting his grace on display most beautifully". It is tangible. It is missional living- i think i may write a post on just this at some point! It is learning more about who God is, through living life with another human being. it is a response.
So I have responded. And have put that response to action, along with my husband and kids. And as many of you now, I will take any chance I get to share my passion about adoption!!!
2012 brought with it many emotions that were unearthed as we responded to God's leading in many areas of our lives. In no particular order-
- finishing building our home that we knew we would not live in
- saying yes to a call to ministry in a new community- which took us away from a gret community
- responding to the diagnosis of a chronic condition with one of our children
- committing to adopting older child(ren)
- responding to my husband's leading and trusting Him as we spent the summer Camping ( it was a blast!)
- responding to God as he gently walking beside us as 4 house offers fell through, not knowing where we going to live 2 weeks before we moved, and then moving into a wonderful friends home for a couple of weeks (as she moved out) before we took possession of our new home.
The key learning point-respond and then trust.
All of this looks a little simpler when written down but life is messy. There are variable factors in everyday life that can either make things easier or harder. But I have learned more, grown more, trusted more and hopefully people have seen a little glimpse of Jesus through me.

Blessings,
Candra