I am sitting on our front step.

Listening to the birds in the park across the street.

Watching the sun go down.

With a chai. Gotta have my chai. In my favourite mug. My Hawaii mug.

Peaceful.

Thankful.



It has been a long time since I have stopped by here to write. Three and a half months to be exact. It is not for lack of thinking about it. I have been wanting to write for a very long time. In fact, I've started several posts but never finished them....




It has been 6 and a half months since we brought our three boys home forever. Since we became a family of nine. And in that time, so many of you have asked how we are truly doing. We have been honest and shared with many of you that these last few months have been the most difficult months of our marriage and for our 4 children who were already with us. There has been stretching, reshaping, remoulding, teaching, patience, self control ( all the fruits of the Spirit for that matter!), blending, perseverance....the list goes on. Riley and I in the last 16 years of our marriage have been incredibly intentional with growing and investing in our marriage. Without that foundation and without our God, this would have been 100X harder than it already is (or maybe impossible).

But...as I prayed about what I wanted to share- it wasn't all the hard stuff. God has brought us to this point as a family of 9 and we trust Him and His purposes for our lives. Sure, it is likely the most challenging chapter of my life so far...but it has taught me so much. About trauma and sorrow. About loss& sacrifice ( for our 3 boys who have been adopted and for the life our 4 "original children" have lost) About redemption. About intentionally each and every day seeing people through His eyes. About community. About learning to love. About provision. About thankfulness. About blessing.


6 and a half months feels like forever ago. As spring and summer have come( thank goodness!!)...so too has a season of change for our family. I feel like we are coming into a little bit of green- a little bit of new life. It has come as we have tended to our family & drawn in and cared for each other. It has been watered by our community of friends and family- near and far. It has grown with more peacefulness in our home, more laughter, kids loving kids and more moments of joy. 

Growth and change is hard. Blending a family is hard. But worth it. They were ready for a family. And we know that this is supposed to be. We love being a large family (which by the way is super fun---and there is always someone else to play with)!

Thankful. 

I want to share just a few moments that we have been so thankful for over the last 6 months. I think it important to share and maybe encourage some of you. There were ( and still are:) days where I want to lock my door. not deal with the arguments, questions, the intentionality of teaching how to be a part of a family...but these moments reminded me in huge ways to be thankful.

* meals brought twice a week for 2 months after we got home.

* anonymous gifts in the mail to help us out

* my parents and sister coming to hang out and provide sanity when Riley has been gone for work.

*meeting a friend for the very first time who said she has been praying for our family daily...You have no idea how very important that moment was for me Jody.

*facebook prayer requests and conversations to my fellow adoptive moms. 

* text messages of Scripture & prayer

* Best friends coming to visit in February-- and tolerating the insanity!! we needed that time with you more an you know. 

*Baptismal weekend with family and friends

* A huge answer prayer with a new to us minivan

* Suppers out with you Joni and dreaming about how God can use us...

* Starbucks chais being left on my doorstep with an encouraging note

* Our one and only date night so far in Camrose- had one in Stoon too!

* A husband who kicks me it of the house for time to rejuvenate..who encouraged me to get healthy and run...who takes all 7 kids ( with ease I might add) to movies and all sorts of other adventures. I am soooo thankful for him.




I could keep going but I hope this paints a picture. I have shed more tears, doubted myself as a mom more than ever before and wondered if I could do this. But each time, God has provided encouragement and a reason to be thankful. 




So- it is going well. We are moving in the right direction. Our steps are small. But our determination and fierce love for our kids is strong.....




I hope to be here more often now...Thanks of reading and will see you all soon.




Blessings,

Candra