Around the world in 80 days????

Jules Verne had no idea how easy it could become....  How about 5?  The 2nd cheapest airfare for this trip would have taken me via China to Ethiopia,then home thru England. I'm not going to lie, it was tempting to take that flight just to say I went completely around the globe in 5 days.  But better sense has (tragically) prevailed since I didn't need to add extra strain or time to get our sons home.  Especially attempting this solo style.  I'm currently in London awaiting my next flight to Addis - not flying over the Great Wall.  But the option has planted a seed in my (very) long away retirement possibilities: around the world without taking a plane.  Mind you, with the advancements of technology, by that time it may only take 5 days by train & boat....  That or either I'll want to visit Mars by then!

My flight home with the boys is about as optimal as we could find. And thankfully the cheapest.  I know that word has come up a couple times, but when you are traveling last minute with 4 people, the costs can add up in a hurry!  On the way home we only have one layover (London again). And it's 4 hours. For boys who have never traveled, that seems like adequate opportunity to take our time to walk everywhere needed, find a meal, use the bathroom (probably a few times!) and get where we need to go. I wonder if they will notice the English accent or if it will all sound like the same gibberish to them?  That's the other great thing about our first flight home on Wednesday: it will be with flight attendants who speak the same language as our 3 newest sons.

I'm just finishing a 11.5 hr layover in London.  So I took 'the tube' down to Piccadilly Circus stop again. "Again". How awesome is my life?  Even in spite of the frustrations, challenges & disappointments of a drawn out adoption journey, I won't complain.

Anyway, I should probably find some supper besides 'Jelly Babies'. Candra, I know you are shaking your head as you read this and agreeing with getting some food!

Riley

Are you all ready for this????!!!!!!

THEY ARE COMING HOME.....

OUR FAMILY WILL ALL BE TOGETHER ON MY 35th BIRTHDAY! 

6 DAYS FROM NOW!!!!!

We are incredibly excited to welcome our sons home....

Henok Samuel Asefa 
Henok: "Dedicated"
Samuel: "God has heard"...He has and we are coming for you!!!

Abenezer Justus Asefa 
Abenezer: "The Lord is my Helper"
Justus: "justice, righteousness"...And it has come. We are so thankful.

and

Mikias Jedidiah Asefa
Mikias: "Who is like God?"
Jedidiah:"Beloved of God"..we pray you know how loved you are by HIM.

Choosing our children's names have been something very important and special to us. All of our children have Biblical names and each of the boys first names are also Biblical - an amazing thing since we didn't choose them! Their middle names are also biblical and each have significance to us as we have journeyed thus far...
And as is tradition in our family, each of our boys have 2 middle names...Asefa is to honor their heritage and fittingly means "God has increased".

amen.

He has increased our family.

He has increased our love for their birth country.

He has increased our love for HIM.

Please pray for our boys as they will hear tomorrow that we are coming for them. It will be a difficult few days with goodbyes and transitions. Please pray for Riley..for nany reasons, we have decided that he will go on his own to bring them home. Pray for health and that God would guide His steps, actions and words as he travels with them across the Atlantic. And please keep us at home in your prayers. The excitement has culminated and the kids are counting down the days, but I know that the work and transitions are just beginning. It is almost surreal that the time is here....

We thank God for our children, all 7 of them- and can't wait to see what God has in store for each of them as we seek to become a family of nine!!

DETAILS TO COME SOON ABOUT AIRPORT PARTY...let's just say though, that on Wednesday, YOU ARE ALL invited and we are going to celebrate!!!!!

Blessings,
Candra & my amazing and brave husband (i love you so much!) - Riley

identity

Transitions give a vulnerability and transparency to moments in my life...
     They seem to effortlessly expose what is important in life and what isn't. Effortless but not easy.

Transitions & change seem to be the "routine" in our life...over our 15 years of marriage God has given us many opportunities to move forward in faith. And moving forward does not usually feel like skipping in a beautiful field of flowers...usually it more like CHOOSING to slug through a muddy swamp. But on the other side when you remove those heavy rubber boots, you feel so light.

And when you are light, when the heaviness has been lifted, it reveals identity. Over the last few weeks I have been trudging, slowly getting to drier ground and finding a place to remove my boots. Transitions are hard. It takes little effort and little time for change to happen but often longer to allow it to reveal what is important. And what I am finding...and should already know but forget to quickly....is that ultimately I am a daughter of the most amazing Father in heaven.

Worrying about a changing job, a changing a role as an adoptive momma - which is bound to be more difficult than I can imagine-  a changing routine, a changing lifestyle - none of this reveals my true identity. And none of the anxiety, the stress about what is to come, the concerns about how on earth we are going to do this... in what I think has been the biggest transition so far in our family's life (and we have had some HUGE ones in the past) ... None of this is what my identity is built upon.

In these moments of vulnerability..it is there that I rest in Him. Where I find worth, value and my guidance. It is not what I do but who I am. How I choose to be. Where I find my identity reveals what is valuable in my life. And what is valuable in my life is pursuing His call for me and for our family as He leads us through all of these beautiful, life changing and inevitably "slugging through the mud" transitions.

Change often happens in a moments notice..effortlessly. The transition may come more slowly. But what is revealed on the other side is worth the work. Worth the wait. It is where I know- without a doubt -that however easy or hard the moments may be...I am right where He wants me to be...

Psalm 138:8...The Lord will work out his plans for my life- for your faithful love,
O lord endures forever. Don't abandon me, for you made me.

Blessings,
Candra

Thankful in the "in between"

I never really thought we would have this in between time...our sons were supposed to come home late September/mid October and we would have been well on our way with 7 children. But...things beyond our control have taken place and now we wait for our government to collect the information they want before they will issue Canadian visas so our boys can enter this country. So it is in between... Getting more ready, waiting and trying to live life to the fullest while not getting completely distracted by things we cannot control. So instead of crawling into a cave and staying there for the duration, we have filled up our next few weeks with fun things in hopes that we will have our boys home before Christmas... So today is a few things I am thankful for in the in between...

1. I have recently had to let go of my pediatric position (my passion as a physical therapist) as the commuting was taking its toll on me and our family...but I am so thankful for all of those extra hours (as it was all put towards our adoption costs) and the connections I got to make with my colleagues and the families I was privileged to serve.

2. I am now working only .5 so I get to spend more time at home---trying to bring a new balance to that  but it is definitely something I am looking forward to. Except the cleaning part:) I love to tidy but would rather someone else clean!!

3. Because we are still a family of 6 on this side of the ocean, I just registered for an adoption conference that I wasn't gonna be able to get to! So I am going and so looking forward to exploring this passion of mine a bit more, worshipping and hearing from some great speakers!!

4. And...because it is in Calgary I get to meet my newest niece and I am so excited!!

5. My sweet oldest girl gets to go on adventure all by herself with her daddy for 4 days- he has a work commitment and she gets to go along! And it is somewhere warm:) I am so thankful this worked out and hoping it will make memories for her that will last a lifetime!

6. We get to travel east (because Riley also has to go there with his work) to see family and friends this November, which will be so good to connect before the craziness of 7!

7. I am thankful I get to be an examiner again this month for a clinical national exam for our profession. I enjoy assisting in this way and it is always good to meet new people!

8. I am thankful that the boys are being well taken care of and although we cannot be there in person, they are a part of our thoughts, prayers and family dynamic every single day:)

9. I am thankful for my husband and 4 kids here at home who continue to amaze me with their insight and strength each day. My husband stayed an extra week in Ethiopia fighting for our boys to come home and did everything he could. I am thankful for his leadership and commitment to our family. And my kids here continue to anticipate life with their brothers and pray for them every night...

10. I have been reflecting on how God has provided throughout this process and He continues to see us through it. We have an awesome community of people praying for us and for our boys. And the cost of this process has been more with each added step and now a third trip (and of course the flights costs are at the highest) but we know that God continues to go before us and through opportunities  & many people, He continues to provide. Thankful does not even begin to describe how amazing this has been.

So even amidst the unknown waiting and the feelings that go along with that - there is joy.

Blessings,
Candra

Know when to hold 'em

"You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em"....

Good thing my mom & dad listened to Kenny Rogers when I was growing up.  Otherwise this game of immigration visas would be impassable.... HA!  Just trying to stay positive....

If our current adoption journey conjures up any lines from old songs, it's probably from 'The Gambler'. In the last few days, we've had to know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em.  So I've been holding our boys & using a translator.... telling them that we've had to 'fold' all of our current attempts to get them home and pursue the longer road of DNA testing as required by our government officials.  I won't say much, but there is certainly a game that is played....  And no one tells you the rules until afterwards (or as they are made up or never ends up telling you).

"the secret to survivn' is knowin' what to throw away and knowin' what to keep."

So we're keeping hope, praying and fighting, but throwing away the dream of getting our sons home in October.  Or we've been forced to throw that dream away....

"If you're gonna play the game, boy, ya gotta learn to play it right"

Lesson learnt.

Trying to navigate this road has been very challenging.  For all 9 of our family members in different ways.
For our 3 sons in Ethiopia, they actually took the news better than I expected.  They gave me a great gift.  From the mouth of our oldest son with a smile on his face (as translated by our social worker): "you came this time... its ok you go again because we know you will come back for us".  He's really shy, so that's about all he said via translation.  They know the wait will be a while - months...  This is quite an astounding statement from him based on all that he has been thru in his young life.  This is also the kind of thing that makes a father fight even harder & pray even longer!

So, playing the hand we've now been dealt means me getting home to my wife & kids in Canada and getting back to my job while we wait for these tests to be done.  I leave Addis very early Saturday morning for home & am trying not to feel defeated.  God's been changing my attitude and granting me a peace over the last couple days.

The reality is that it's time to re-group & get ready for the next round.

So that's the update.  Not fun - except that it's filled with God, amazing kids & Kenny Rogers.....

Last 4 days...final day

There are not words to adequately describe today.October 9, 2013. it was intensely emotional. heartbreakingly beautiful. it was a kairos moment. A day that I will be eternally grateful for. 
It was the morning that the meeting at the embassy took place. It was not a meeting we were involved in but we prayed all morning. And we felt the prayers of many of you lifted to the heavens on our behalf. 

It is also the day that we met our sons' birth mom. I will never forget that hour for the rest of my life. I am thankful for the boys that we have that. And for us. And for her. The boys know we met her and there was almost visible relief from our oldest. It pleased him.  She is forever their 'enat' and I am forever their mommy.  

 It is the last visit that I had with the boys on Ethiopian soil. it was good and hard. I didn't expect it this way.to not bring them home. To not be there for their going away ceremony. to not be there to give their first baths or tuck them into bed. But they have a great daddy to do all those things and I am sure I will have my fair share when they get home! they all called me mommy for the first time! Our middle one has been saying of for some time but not the others. it was a beautiful surprise. We said goodbyes with huge hugs and Riley said he would be back tomorrow. They all lit up with big smiles.

It was my last day on Ethiopia soil for the foreseeable future...I didn't think this would affect me as much as it did. 

This trip has been more comfortable and my eyes are definitely more willing to see the landscape, the people, the culture.The first trip I was focused on surviving, trying to get over culture shock, seeing the boys, not getting sick ( I did get sick but not this time...). I will miss this country. being here. But I know as a family we are always going to have Ethiopia as a part of us and how we serve/ be in relationship with the people of this country is still a work in process.

we were able to go for coffee one last time. A sweet end to my time here in Addis Ababa. 

It was a difficult end to get on a plane by myself, leaving one part of my family behind but anxious to see the other part at home. Joy and sorrow. 

But I know..I know...that He will make a way for Riley and the boys to be home soon. I hope for this with all of my heart and continue to pray and commit everything to His hands. Riley and I prayed before I left and entrusted our family once again to Him. 

It was an important day. a good day. an emotional day. a cairos day- where time stood still. And we continue to be thankful for His work in each of our lives. 

Blessings,

Candra

My last 4 days...day 3

Today was a big day...at least in my mind it was. Riley was not nervous at all but I was. We were able to take the boys out for lunch today. Because of the policy of our agency, we aren't usually able to take the kids out of the orphanage but Elsa was ok with it, probably because we are in a bit of a unique situation. They were ready to go when we got there, but none of the nannies had any knowledge that we were taking them out! So after a bit of discussion, we got it all worked out. I sat with all three boys in the back of the car on the way to the restaurant. They were very quiet and the 2 younger ones were very interested in what was going on outside. 'Mekina' everywhere! They do not differentiate on what type of vehicle it is- they are all mekina:) 

We made it to the restaurant and luckily it was pretty quiet. Cokes and fantas were the drinks of choice. They had all said they wanted tibs, which is an Ethiopian beef dish. So we ordered that. But when the waiter came to take our order, he said they also wanted French fries. Great! That is what they got, and I am pretty sure they enjoyed that more than the tibs. And the ketchup. They definitely liked the ketchup. We surprised them with chocolate cake for dessert which they ate every last bite of. They seemed pleased and full, but not overly full. They left some of the food on the plate, so I hope that is good sign as they did not feel the need to eat everything in sight... We drove them back to the orphanage, and I think maybe all three were carsick. They were not still and they were looking in every direction so I think it affected them a little bit:) It was a good first outing.

The afternoon was nice and relaxed and I got to spend some time with Riley. We walked to get some pictures printed, grab some Ethiopian spices, shiro and tef flour ( I will try to make injera:)). On the way back we stopped at Kaldi's, which is the Ethoipian version of Starbucks. But the coffee...oh the coffee. So good. I am not a coffee drinker but in Ethiopia I am a coffee drinker. A macchiato or just a coffee with cane sugar. It is my happy place. It was so good just to take a few moments with my husband and soak in the experience. It has not gone like we thought it would but it is still good. We are where we are supposed to be at this moment in time. And there is no one I would rather be on this adventure with than Riley. He is absolutely hands down my best friend, he can speak wisdom and calmness to me like no other, he is a great leader and he makes me laugh. I love being his wife. So being in Kaldi's, enjoying coffee...it was an great moment of just being in Ethiopia:) 

We headed back to the guesthouse and hung out with the families in the courtyard. A family that is there from Edmonton invited us to go out for Indian food with them. We will never pass down an opportunity to eat Indian food. It is in our top three cuisines! It was a bit expensive but really, when it is just 2 of us, it does not feel expensive so we just enjoyed...came home to some emails from our princess and little man at home. It made us laugh and smile. They are all doing so well at home and we are so thankful for mom. She is an amazing woman who loves her grandchildren and oh...do they love her back!!! I am so thankful that it has been going well.... 
Sleep came easily tonight. And tomorrow begins my last day in Ethiopia - that seems so strange and I am grieving it already. Although, as Riley hugged me tonight his words were.."love, we've got a good 60 years left together...we will be back." S onto our final day together in this beautiful African country...

Blessings, 

Candra