Shift in direction

I have been rather non existent on my blog over the last while. And there is reason for it. This has been a year of change, -  of really hard things in our family, of beginning of healing, of anger, of grief, of sadness, of joy, of taking steps forward and some back, of learning more about myself than I really wanted to, of forgiveness, of redemption and of moving forward. 

Because that is how we create more change. 

We move forward with more hope and continued conversations.  

Through my writing, the goal has always been to ultimately to draw more people into His story through our stories. To create a safe space where we can walk together with shared experiences. So I am changing this space a little. I  have a few things that have “accidentally” or maybe not so accidental, that have landed in my life that I now am compelled to lend my voice to. Because Christ’s love compels us to walk with each other, encourage each other and LOVE.  

So please bear with me as I change my focus slightly…and hopefully along the way my story will help or in some way encourage you in your story. 

Welcome to “Accidental Advocate”.

Over the last while, I have had this idea for my blog simmering in my head. But I have pushed it aside…with the lots of thoughts like “why would anyone care?” “I am just but one person” “I need to focus just on my own family” It has been relatively easy to turn inward but the nudging has not left. In fact, it has continued to grow. Advocacy has become intertwined with my very being of who I am. In its very basic definition, it is a “person who publicly supports or recommends a particular cause or policy”. 

So over the next few days, I will introduce you to me. What I am passionate about. What drives me. What I advocate for. What continues to compel me forward. And I hope that through this, you to will begin to find and lend your voice to things after God’s heart, ideas and opportunities that you are passionate about - things that compel you to keep moving and to love. 

Thanks for joining me on this journey - looking forward to hearing your stories as we all move forward....

"For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all..." 2 Corinthinans 5:14

Candra

welcome home....

She is home.

Our daughter. 

And we are forever grateful.

She is full of smiles.

Full of love.

Full of giggles.

And she has taught us much already. 

We are all in love.

And whatever lies ahead.

By God's grace.

We will love big.

And we will become. We are.

A family.

Of 10.

Chloe "green shoot. fresh blooming."

Abigail  "the Father's joy"

Grace "unmerited favour of God"

Beautiful girl. Sweet child of God. 

11 sleeps!!

It seems surreal yet comforting to begin writing again. I have been very quiet. Very very quiet over the last few months. It could be assumed that I am just busy with other more pressing things. And marriage, kids, school, sports and work all take time. But it is not because of this. I have thought about writing many many times and have even sat down in front of my computer several times. But each moment...has come with quietness. God's voice quietly whispering that it is not time yet. To just wait. And it has been hard. I am not always a patient person by nature. And we have had lots of moments over the last few months that I want to share! But the word was wait. Be still. So I was. 

But now, I can hardly not write! I sense that He has flung the doors open and said now is the time. I have learned so much about myself and about trust and about provision & sacrifice and about loving big and about my selfishness & motives and about marriage & teamwork.....the list could go on and on! And honestly I don't really know where to start. I just pray that the words that flow onto this paper will somehow, somewhere stir something inside of someone... That this will resonate or encourage or challenge...and that ultimately you would hear God speaking into your life.

I will back up and tell the whole story in a future post but I might as well start with our most AMAZING news: 

Riley & I are welcoming our eighth child into our home in just over two weeks!!! She is a beautiful 2 1/2 year old GIRL who has stolen our hearts forever. 

Adoption has forever changed our family and once again, we have what can only be described as a call to say yes to this sweet child. As in all of our adoptions God has moved fast. And yet, our openness to many things has also given us the honour of being parents to some amazing children! And our baby girl will be no exception. She is adorable and from what we know, loves to laugh, loves attention, loves music and loves cuddling and being held. All of this a true testament to the incredible foster family she has been with until this point (more about them coming soon!). But there are many things about her that are different. She is not able to walk, or talk, or eat orally. She requires a wheelchair and various other equipment. She will need care for the rest of her life. She is a child with special needs. She is a precious child of God. 

Bob Goff, who wrote "Love Does" has some great quotes but one that has stuck with me through this process:


"Small streams don't plan to be mighty rivers. We just move in a direction; God decides what he will have us become."
And we have just kept moving. Through this process and meeting our new daughter, we have prayed that we will continue to become more like Jesus. As individuals and as a family. And we know that meeting our little sweetheart will be just the beginning. Of her stream converging with ours and becoming a mighty river....


Sweet girl- God has placed you on this earth for such a time as this. He has given you a purpose and loves you dearly. No...you may not "look" like other kids your age. But you are beautiful and sweet and delightful. And God has big plans for your life... Of that we have no doubt. You have already taught your daddy & I so much. Love you so much already:):)
If you would join us in praying for her. Everything will be so new for her- new sounds, new arms to be carried in, more noise:) Pray that she may have peace and know love. 

Pray for her foster family who love her dearly. It has been so exciting to begin to get to know them. But they are grieving and happy and sad all at once. 

Pray for our kids as they wrap their heads around a new little sister. And pray for their nerves as they worry about what their friends and other people will think. 

Pray that they would have peace and confidence that only comes from God. And pray that God would give us His wisdom as we parent our 8 ( crazy. Crazy good.) incredible children. 

11 sleeps!!!

Blessings,

Candra

3000+ kms...

Christmas Vacation 2015 is officially done! And it was one for the memory books...it was really our first christmas as a family of 9 and it was epic. Our original plans were not to be and instead we drove over 3000km this christmas from Alberta to BC and back to Alberta and then to Saskatchewan and back to Alberta. We saw many beloved people and even had a few firsts for our whole family  - like spending Christmas morning with friends. It was awesome. Thank you to our amazing friends for opening your home to us at Christmas last minute...we love you guys. And I was worried about how all of this would affect our three newest - we had our moments but overall they did remarkable. Gave me a little confidence for our sumer road tripping plans:) Anyways...Merry Christmas & Happy New Year from our family to yours!! What follows is a "few pics" of our Christmas adventure....enjoy:)

beginning our vacation west...road trip!

Love the mountains...heading towards Jasper:)

Meeting Great grandparents for the very first time...such sweet moments. 

Me & my M

sibling love:)

Lego love:)

my girl

mild weather makes for some great snow days!

Snowboarding and loving it...first try!

no fear:)

Had a rough day with his T1D but man...he is resilient:) love him...

all smiles...

Christmas Eve...and sick:(

Merry Christmas!!

with all of the great grandkids...LOVE!!

cannot believe I have an 11 year old boy:)!

hang in with uncle and the stuffies...christmas morning:):)

cards with Dziadziu

my most favourite person in the whole wide world

And then back to Alberta where the girls and I took off for the to Sylvan Lake to catch up with some of my extended family at a reunion....skating on the lake:)

hangin on the ice:)

and another great great grandma...time with grammie!

Off to SK and more cousins...

Add in a birthday for our newest 11 year old!!

We love you!

playing with the cousins and grandma & grandpa's

and the littlest cousin...!!!:)

Sleigh rides at -20C...but having fun!!

sweet niece all bundled up...

needed a family pic with the horses!

Merry Christmas love...thanks for who you are  & all you have been over the last year...God  knew I needed you to live this adventure of life with and I thank Him every day...love you.

Blessings,

Candra

on living life...

"We want to live life, not be distracted by it"











It is too easy to be distracted...To just pound out the daily grind- work, chores, activities for the kids, laundry, pack lunches, tv, time with friends, go to bed at an unreasonable hour and then get up at an unreasonable hour and do it all again. 

Life is not long enough to just do this every day our life. At least not for me. As a couple & as a family we want to be available and ready for opportunities that God calls us too. We want to be willing and ready to risk to do things that much of the world may see as crazy. And we want to courage our kids and others around us to do this same. To not get caught in pursuing only things of this world- but to pursue things, relationships and opportunities that allow us to be active & invested followers of Christ. When we do this, we must trust God and put our whole hope in Him because really, there is no other way when you are willing to risk for His sake. 

Many of you now know (read earlier posts) that we are expanding our family again through adoption! If you would have asked me 11 years ago, before we had any children, if we would have 7+, I probably would have thought that it wouldn't be our family. But if you ask me now, it makes sense. Sometimes. Other times, it is just crazy but still is right. We thought we were done at 7:)  But a whisper is all it takes if you are listening... And we both were. 

This is absolutely the most surprised we have been to start an adoption. An eighth child! From a practical perspective, there is lots- most noticeably finances- that need to fall into place. But we are confident in His provision. It is hard to doubt when God has shown us time and time again that He is with us. This means we also have to do our part and already God has given us each some additional work opportunities. 

We have also been surprised at the support of our community and how excited they are for us. It has given affirmation that we are not as crazy as we sometimes think! Well, maybe we are but we love it! 

Risking and loving for His sake- even when it is crazy hard and you feel like giving up, or feel like no one completely understands, or you are utterly exhausted- is worth it. I have 7 living examples living under my roof right now. It is a long road that twists and turns but the redemptive work that God continues to do in the lives of each of our children and us is a reminder that He uses me right where I am at. And that adding another child to our family is a privilege- we get to continue living life by pursuing things after God's heart rather than being distracted by all the other stuff in our lives! 

 Blessings ,
Candra 

 PS if you are one to pray, we would ask that you join us in praying for: 

1. The heart of our newest child. That even now, God would be preparing them for a new family.
2. Our homestudy is done but now begins it's winding route to our agency. Pray that this would be done quickly. We are hoping before Christmas! 

3. Pray for provision financially. An international process is a significant cost and at times, can seem very daunting!
Thanks so much for your prayers. They are invaluable!

Micah 6:8

I wanted to share with you tonite a bit more about this new journey we are on and where we are at. As I sat down to begin writing, this verse came to mind and so it is here that I will start.

Micah 6:8 has been a defining verse for me and for our family and how attempt to live our lives as followers of Christ. I probably like the verse even more because of its directness and strong language. There is no beating around the bush as he speaks! What does the Lord require of you?

DO JUSTICE.

LOVE MERCY.

WALK HUMBLY

WITH OUR GOD.

For us, these 9 words are a not an option. It doesn't say when you feel like it...or in this circumstance... rather it is a life to pursue. Each day...at home...in workplaces...in our transitions...in our church...as a a person in this world. And all of it - with our God. What a beautiful invitation to be a part of His kingdom...His Church here. Right now. 

The part that is doesn't say is this ----it will be incredibly hard in many instances. It is hard to do justice when there are so many injustices. When our lives become too busy to even see. It is hard to love mercy when we let judgement creep in. When we are impatient or upset. Or when mercy has not been shown to us. It is hard to walk humbly. When we want to be noticed. Or when we want the next best thing. It is is hard to do it "with our God". Because sometimes...we want the recognition. Or we want to be in charge at that moment.  

But living like this is...lifechanging- moving and living as part of His kingdom. Seeing our life and the lives of others transformed by His goodness and love for us. 

His story giving purpose, meaning and breath to our story. 

I wish I could get it right all the time. But I don't. In fact, I probably fail more than I have success. But by His grace we continue moving. Where He leads. And this is where I find myself as we have entered the last few months. Him leading and me attempting to walk humbly:)

stay tuned....

Blessings,

Candra

A Thanksgiving to remember...

We truly thought our family was complete. It seems that in the last 10 months. We have felt every emotion under the sun! But the light is shining brighter and there are a glimpses each day of a normalacy that is beginning to embrace our family.  And with that normalacy comes less survival and more dreaming about what life will look like for us as we move forward in this life.

So we begin our next adoption story...!!!

First thing I want to share is that we love our newest boys dearly. Each day it seems we are learning more and more about them and it is only by God's grace that they appear to be adjusting amazingly well. Life in a large family comes with its own set of challenges and not everyday do I remember to do something with each of them one on one (and I try not to feel guilty about it:). But each night we say prayers, we hug and kiss and we say goodnight and I love you. And even though some days are incredibly tough, I pray that they know that they are loved by us and by their Saviour.  I share this because I don't think we would even be at a point to consider an eighth child if it weren't for how well they are doing.  We know the road could be long & winding with all of our children and I pray regularly that God will direct our steps as parents- to give us patience, courage, compassion, wisdom and love (and probably a million more things too!)

Back a few months ago, we brought up the idea to each other of adopting again. Half jokingly (half not) we talked about how we had already made the jump. A 15 passenger van, a house that fits all of us, being that family that is already big etc. Another child would not be a huge jump and all of our kids at home, believe it or not, had been asking if we were going to bring another child into our family. So we earnestly started praying about it. And we came to the conclusion that we would step into the waters of domestic adoption.

This was a new process for us. We began meetings with a social worker in the summer and began compiling our paperwork to begin this process. From our previous experiences, the paperwork was night and day from international adoption. In a week we were practically done it all. Still just waiting on a couple of things to come back. We were feeling confident in our decision and decided to tell our kids that we were starting the adoption process again. They were excited but fairly quiet as we gave them cautious instructions not to tell a soul. This is a very hard task for children ages 5-11 but they succeeded! So we began the waiting...

I sometimes think God prepares us for something by letting us wade in slowly...but allowing us to wrap our heads around the idea and then.....launches us even further.

In early September, I started back to work. I love what I do and am truly glad to be back. I started a new job that I had transferred to during parental leave. Back to what I love in paediatric physical therapy:) The first week was busy - learning new procedures, reading charts of my clients, getting my computer systems back up and running.

And it was in the middle of this week that both Riley and I, as we prayed for our future child, came to the same conclusion. Compliments of the Holy Spirit:) We were to pursue another international adoption...we both had to let that process and sink in! Nothing about it makes sense. Most noticeably the costs of an international adoption are substantially more. The paperwork is more. The process is more. And in all honesty, the support once they are home is much less. It still seems a bit (just a bit) crazy!

But as we have learned through our last 20 years together...when He calls you...listen. So we are. And trusting hard. Less than a year ago our boys came home. It doesn't make sense and yet it does. Completely. So at present-to clarify- we have 2 processes underway (domestic and international) and we pray every night for our precious eighth child as we begin this adventure.

The peace that passes all understanding is with us these days. And we are excited to be on this journey once again. Friends...in advance we thank you for your prayers, your friendships, your wisdom and your encouragement.

And for all of this we are incredibly thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving - a beautiful first Canadian thanksgiving for our three newest (who LOVE turkey) and and a great one at home for the rest of us!

Blessings,
Candra (& Riley)